Breast cancer – any chronic health condition, for that matter – is tough. It can scare you, make you feel frustrated, resentful of those in good health, and just plain mad at the world. I’m no Pollyanna, but let’s bury those feelings for a few moments, and get into the spirit of Thanksgiving…

If you celebrate Thanksgiving, no doubt by this time you’re thinking about food. Maybe you need to pick up the turkey today; perhaps start planning the order in which things cycle through the oven Thursday.

Or, if you’re going to someone else’s house, and have been charged with bringing dessert – time to get our that favorite apple pie recipe!

But what if you’re dealing with breast cancer this year? Your life has been totally torn apart: by the physical toll of treatment, the emotional trauma of fear and anger, and all the disruptions that cancer brings to life as we know it.

Other years, you might sit back contentedly with a glass of wine at the end of Thanksgiving Day, and give thanks: for friends and family, for warmth and food, or maybe just that the long day is over.

But this year? Wine increases cancer risk; turkey makes you queasy; and friends and family spent all day gingerly edging around you, trying to help and not knowing how.

Man, not much to be thankful for, huh?

Well, step back. Away from the ravages of chemo and surgery, the pain of radiation, the soul-searing fears that regularly awaken you at 2 a.m. Take a broad view; like the mountain climber who finally emerges from the dark forest to find a spectacular 100-mile panorama, you’ll discover that despite everything, there are still things for which you can be grateful. Like these:

1) You’re alive. That’s job #1, with cancer – and so far, you’ve made it. Keep up the good work!

2) The medical team that’s saving your life. The oncologist, radiologist, or surgeon (choose your favorite), the one who takes the time to listen to you when you’re scared. The nurse who clued you in about chewing ice before chemo, and NOT bringing your favorite snacks. The woman in the hospital financial office who helped you unravel the miserably complicated insurance claim. The researchers who discovered Herceptin.

It takes more than a village to treat cancer: it takes you, and a virtual city of support folks. They’re working for you every day; be thankful.

3) The love around you. People often have mysterious ways of expressing love; it’s tremendously difficult to open our hearts and let others see inside. But know that so many of those you deal with every day love you, in big and little ways.

Some actually say it: “I love you.” Some bring chicken soup, and vacuum your house; some email you a joke every morning.

And some desert you: their love is strong enough to cause pain, but not strong enough to weather it, so they disappear. Maybe you’ll find one another again; maybe not. But understand, if they didn’t care enough to feel your pain, they wouldn’t be avoiding you.