Finally, I’d get a second opinion. It’s often exactly what you need, when you’re sitting on the fence and not tipping either way. Good doctors always welcome you advocating for yourself; they know that if you feel pushed into treatment, it’s less likely to be a successful experience.

As it turned out, my friend-of-a-friend was offered a place in an Oncotype-DX trial, the preliminary gene test for which will let her know very specifically how likely she is to have a recurrence if she doesn’t do chemo. If recurrence is very unlikely, she’ll probably tip away from chemo. If very likely, she’ll tip towards it. If she’s right in the middle… well, she’ll be in that spot where we so often find ourselves, rolling the dice. But at least she’ll have had time to calm down, gather information, and feel good knowing she did everything possible to make a decision that’s right for HER.