Thank you for the wonderful encouragement.My positive attitude has been bolstered up by you and others on this wonderful site.I know inside I'll never be the same 'Me'.I shall always be looking out for ways in which I can help others to get through this journey.Right from my early schooldays I was very fond of books.Later,in my teens,my first love amongst the Romantic poets was Wordsworth.Nature always had that certain effect on me.So his line,'My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky' will never cease to affect me the way it did before I discovered that I had to fight against cancer.But then there are so many others who've travelled on the same road and whose courage has inspired me so much.
God bless them all.
Hi PJ
Reading the above comments I made during my treatment in 2007-2008, I felt real brave & optimistic then. That's also because I had you to keep my spirits up. Now, after the passage of two & a half years after treatment, I'm overcome by a great fear. It's when I wrote to Dr Kevin Knopf, MD & sent him my whole report,including the Estrogen & Progesterone Receptors status.He rightly declined giving me a precise answer, but I recently found my letter under the heading of Triple Negative Cancer.
My Estrogen Receptor Score was 60, and the Progesterone Receptor Score was 50.
Opinion was as follows---Estrogen Receptor Weakly Positive and Progesterone Receptor Weakly Positive Breast Carcinoma. The Immunohisochemistry Result was----C-erb B2 (Her-2/Neu) Oncoprotein:1+
I was horrified to read in your FAQ,given under the same heading of my question to Dr Kevin, that mine is an aggressive form of cancer and that Tamoxifen can't help me. I read in the FAQ you gave that it's likely to return within 3 years, but if I manage to make it beyond that & get past the 5 years danger stage, I may breathe a little easier. Please,tell me where I stand. I know it's not your policy to give a diagnosis online but then Dr Kevin Knopf has really made me panic.I'll be very grateful to you if you tell me what are my chances.
Cressida
Cressida, you know none of us here can give you the type of good, specific information your oncologist can give you. Find out from your oncologist if you have triple negative cancer; it doesn't sound like you do, if you're taking tamoxifen. And even if you do, triple negative is NOT "likely to come back within 3 years" - it's more likely to come back then other types, but still more likely to NOT come back.
Bottom line - sounds like you've become more agitated than you need to be. Sometimes a little bit of information, without the whole story, can do that to a person. Please ask for an appointment with you oncologist to discuss your case completely; I want you to have as much information as possible, because I think understanding will help allay your fears. So your to-do here is to have a fact-finding discussion with your doctor, OK? Take care- PJH
Hi PJ
Thank you for the reply.You're right about my having become agitated, fearing something of which I don't have complete information. But it came as a real shock when this detailed query that I sent to Dr Kevin in 2008 was suddenly found by me under the heading of 'Triple Negative Cancer'. This happened only when a member asked me as to how I was getting along presently---that's at the end of 2010. When I first posted this query to Dr Kevin, I waited anxiously for his reply. But none came in for a long time. Then when it did come, as far as I remember,it was to say that he couldn't give me a complete prognosis & that my oncologist was the right person to ask.I accepted that as the only reply that he was in a position to give. But it really shattered me to find my query under the Triple Negative Cancer heading. I'm truly sorry if somehow,somewhere, I've missed out on something. I'm going for my 6-monthly check up soon(I have to go to another city) and I sure am going to put my result before my doc & ask him to tell me the whole truth. And if,in case I DO have TNBC,why did they say I was to take Tamoxifen? Why wasn't I treated with some more effective method?
Sorry again for my bad nerves. Please,delete the earlier post of today. I'm extremely grateful to all of you,particularly to you, as you're doing a great job. I had no intention of embarrassing anybody,& I certainly didn't mean to be rude.
I hope I'm forgiven.
Cressida
Rude? Forgiven? Cressida, I don't see anythng like that here... You're scared, and you've come to the right place. As I said, if you're taking tamoxifen, you're not triple negative. I'm unclear about your communication with Dr. Knopf being "under the triple negative heading" - if it is, it's clearly a mistake. How about if you try to forget you ever saw that? Dr. Knopf wouldn't have classified your communication with him in any way. So, talk to your oncologist - and i"m betting you'll feel a whole lot beter afterwards. Peace- PJH
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Hi PJ
As always,you touch an inner chord where we least expect it.I gave short shrift to one of my elder sisters who started scaring the living daylights out of me by insisting I get my other breast removed as a precautionary measure. She's probably worried for me and may even prove to be right,but I refuse to get rid of a healthy breast unless absolutely forced to do so.I'm having a hard enough time accepting the first loss and wondering where I stand with a reconstruction at the age of 62,with diabetes(controlled) and borderline hypertension.
I hope when I'm finally free to go home in mid-June,I can live the rest of my life without the fear of death hanging on top of my head.Of course,I shall change my diet,other habits like the few cigarettes a day that I still have,and my regualar check ups & mammograms etc.But I intend savouring each day,looking at the sunshine,the green grass,the beautiful flowers,and above all enjoying my girls & my grandsons.
My last chemo is on April 3,to be followed by a few weeks of radiotherapy.Here's hoping I can call myself a survivor of sorts and go home and carry on with my life.
Thanks as always for showing the way.
Cressida