Who’s right? Who’s wrong? The answer is: no one… and everyone. However you feel about cancer coming back is nobody’s business but your own. There’s no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to fear, especially the fear of death, our ultimate monster under the bed.

If you’re a worrier, you’ve probably worked out how best to incorporate stress into your life so that you can keep functioning. If you’re a Pollyanna, you’ve no doubt learned how to tune out friends who caution you against eating grapefruit, or using nail polish remover. Just like everything else concerning breast cancer, this is YOUR experience, no one else’s.

Me, I’m a non-worrier. I exercise, but I still eat char-broiled hamburgers. I’m pretty aware of my remaining breast’s topography, but I don’t check for changes regularly. I know my odds (16%)—and they don’t scare me. I’m comfortable in my skin, stretched and scarred though it is. I’m six years past diagnosis, and I figure another 14 will pretty much put me out of reach of a recurrence. Cancer? Don’t think so. Been there, done that. No worries. Just call me Pollyanna.