Explaining Breast Cancer to Children

As a parent and a two time breast cancer survivor, I've often been asked about how to explain to your kids about the effects of your cancer treatment. 

When I was originally diagnosed with cancer in 2005, I explained to my daughter the procedure and treatment I was getting ready to go through after she asked me if I was sick.  Though at the time her reference to me being sick was actually due to the acne on my face, which I explained to her is what happens when mommy gets stressed out.  Though I answered her question, I decided to take it one step further and tell her the truth - at the time she was just 5.  I explained my mastectomy, why I had to have it done and what treatment would be.  I was a little worried at first how she would take the news - so I promised her that because the chemotherapy would make me lose my hair, that I would let her to draw on my bald head with markers every day if that's what she wanted if she did not like me with a wig or a hat on, or my plain bald head for that matter - cause bottom line no matter what I looked like, I was still her mommy inside and I wanted her to be comfortable with the way I looked.  This promise excited her and after each shower I would come out to find her sitting on the bed with all the markers sprawled out, ready to be used - and each time I had to remind her that I had to lose all my hair first before she could draw on it.  Looking back on those dark days, I am often reminded of the unique bonding experience we shared, and feel wonderfully blessed that she was by my side through out it all.  She witnessed as I fought the cancer and eventually over came it - which was extremely important to me since just 2 years earlier she had lost her grandfather to lung cancer.  The second time around, though she still worried obsessively about me, she was confident deep down inside that I would be okay cause I was a fighter.

As I was reading through the cancer magazine WOMEN, I found that now-a-days there is a company called Kimmie Cares that makes a soft, adorable and huggable dolls to use as a comforting tool to help you talk to your children about the effects of your cancer treatment.  Every doll comes with a 34 page book (Mommy and Me....taking  care of each other) that provides the words to help explain it to your kids.  Through the doll and book, parents and children can express their fears and share their feelings.

The Kimmie Cares doll is 16" tall doll that comes with two different removable wigs and a scarf so children can model the doll to "look just like mommy" before, during, and after the chemotherapy or radiation treatment that she needs to get better.  The doll is also available in several ethic categories.

So if you, a loved one, or a friend is struggling with ways to talk with their children or grandchildren then check out the link above for more info.  It may be just the tool you need.