Do you think it's possible to ever fully heal following a battle with Breast Cancer? Years ago I'm not sure I would have. But here I am, not even 5 years later feeling whole again. I'm not saying that I walked away from this fight unchanged, because I did. This journey has inexplicably changed me for both the better and the worse. Yet, I no longer feel broken because of it. I'm sure being post-reconstruction plays a large part in that feeling, as it has taken me 11 breast surgeries to finally get here. And now that I'm here, I look back at the journey that has brought me here. Every scar across my chest tells a tale. It's almost like a roadmap, showing the way to hell and back.

There were times I thought I wouldn't survive. Not because my cancer was that bad, but because my fear was that great. I hadn't even made it past the 3 year mark when my recurrence was found. And now that it's been a year and a half since that discovery, I find myself wondering if this time I will truly make it to 5. I'm hoping so, which is what brings me to this realization I've had. I once again feel whole, complete and my hope has returned. I can even honestly say that my fear is gone. No longer do I worry about each blood test or scan, and it feels wonderful. I finally feel like I have my life back.

In a way, I almost feel like I should thank cancer. Not for nearly ruining my life, but for what I got in return. It has opened my eyes, and made me wiser. I feel it has made me a better person. I am stronger now than ever before. I know what I am capable of. It has strengthened my character. I didn't grow up on the sunny side of the street, but after all I have been through, I can say that the fight didn't make me more cynical. Instead, it has given me a new lease on life. I'm still not wearing those rose-colored glasses, but I am more appreciative of the things I normally took for granted.

So is it possible to go to hell and back, and then move on with your life? I'm not a hundred percent certain, but I'm hoping to find out.