Well, I am on the downhill side - my radiation treatments will be done by Feb 21. I am tolerating them well, the reddness is not too bad, but then I use my special cream without fail, at least 3 times a day. The fatigue is pretty bad - I am sleeping three or more hours during the day, and still sleeping well at night. I am good for a couple of hours each day, in terms or real activity. And 10 days ago I got a new pal - a small kitten who
looks 
like a miniature leopard. Her name is Arabella Butterfly, and she has decided that I am her surrogate mother. She has provided comfort, affection and distraction. But not enough to ward off an occasional attack of the blues. I have worked hard at having a positive atttitude, keeping up with family and friends, staying cheerful - even in the radiation waiting room. In the past week I have had bouts of doubt. What if the cancer comes back? I feel cheated of my innocence of my own mortality. And then I feel guilty for these thoughts, because there are so many more people who face much more serious diagnosis and treatment. And then I tell myself not to feel guilty - its all relative, and my feelings are real...
