The Party

Yow!   Although the friends may have meant well and I politely would've tried to show appreciation understanding that, such a party would've secretly scared the living daylights out of me. 

If I were a patient who would likely not be in the most upbeat state under such circumstances, I might be inclined to feel it might have been a promotion paid for by the breast cancer industry.

The way I see it, it would be as if I were on my dying bed and people thew a party in my room expressing good luck on my passing away comfortably.

If patients are in a depressed state (and this would likely be the case for most women in this position), the meaning could be taken in a number of ways.   If there's even a REMOTE possibility the patient may become depressed after the party was over, I think it would be better for friends to play it safe and approach her individually and privately, not to bring up the subject, but just to chat.

Then if she herself brought up the subject, friends could privately offer as much sympathy, empathy, understanding, or whatever it was the patient needed.

One type of friend I think most patients would prefer NOT to hear from at this time  would be the type who would say,  "An, it's nothing so don't worry your silly little head off.   Everything will turn out all right.  It did for me and my friends!" 

I love it!  I had such a great support group with family and friends! I too had a bilat mast with reconstruction and looked at it from the positive angle too... it was getting a boob job with some inconveniences along the way!  Feel free to check out my blog that chronicles the journey - my dx was March 15 2007, so start with March 2007 to see some of things that my friends did for me.  Wow.  It was so awesome. 

Celebrating life and the new "girls" (Bada and Bing),

Tina

http://tinainthepink.blogspot.com/