Michael:

Jacki and John have good tips. Fight the pointless panic and fear at this point and just accept, digest and ask a lot of questions with each bit of new news as it comes. At any point, if there are any concerns or confusion, get a second opinion. My needle biopsy unfortunately came back with inconclusive results (&!@#$%) but as there was clearly a large and fast growing tumor there, I just elected for surgery FAST with the real biopsy coming during the operation to nail the answers down. I signed a waiver in case I needed a lump removal or full mastectomy based on the biopsy results, but of course, the Cancer Surgeon may have to get your OK to continue (at least true where I come from, but make sure before her surgery). Don't forget to give her a big smile, hug and kiss before she's wheeled into surgery (my husband was so freaked he couldn't, but everyone's different, and he snapped out of it later). Post-surgery give her a kiss and a victory sign and say just "Cancer Gone, Yeah!  Let's celebrate later! I love you honey and am very proud of you". 

Let her recuperate fully (mentally, emotionally, physically)  before anticipating and discussing any future treatment IF ANY IS NEEDED AT ALL (you have time together for lots of consultations and research later to determine this). You may need to be her active voice for the nurses (wrong side arm to do BP, blood, transfuse), her pillow plumper, sippy cup provider, her get to the toilet support and maybe more. Be careful about "predicting" the next steps during her recuperation (I actually heard my husband discussing chemo and radiation on his cell to the kids just hours after I was wheeled out of surgery and while I was being poked on the wrong side by the nurses, and I flipped out and told really him off. Truly wrong time, wrong place, wrong information based on Surgeons guess, not Oncologist's advice and consultations and so on).  Be realistic at all points. Your wife is no saint, and you are not going to be perfect either. I don't care for that sappy old movie that claims "Love means never having to say your'e sorry". Really, you may both be saying sorry alot as you navigate through these possible stages and growing together. 

For the very little you actually know at this stage, I really suggest you skip the fear and panic as it's really destructive and no help at all. If you take everything step by step and logically, it's never as bad as you initially imagine (the worst, yes, we all do this and it's silly) but it's all doable and positive.  My husband and I both made many so dumb mistakes in our journey thus far, but forgive, forget, and move on to a much happier future with no fear, no regrets and new found love. If we can do it, absolutely anyone can!  Jen and John in the middle