In July 2010 I had a tram flap surgery to reconstruct after a mastectomy, after the 15 plus hour surgery I began having problems about a month later in September 2010 I found out that I had co5tracted a bacteria called micro bacterium which turned into an infection but no one knows how I got it. I had surgery again in October 2010 to clean out the infection which they ended up removing the mesh and replacing it with something else. I was on major anti-biotic for several months in IV form and then put on pill form for a few more months, here it is December of 2011 and I still have swelling, and every time I go for a walk it becomes worse I have a lot of pain and my abdominal area get real hard and now it appears to be moving up to my stomach area. I complain to the doctor but he says he does not know how or why I am still having pain and now I am having back pain because I begin to lean forward as the swelling gets bigger. I feel as though I should of never had this surgery, I was so self-conscious about having no breasts that I went ahead and had the surgery and now I feel even more self-conscious, and now I have major issues when it comes to letting my husband see me because i am embarrassed I have alot of scars on me and the reconstruction appeared to have been botched and I do not know where to turn because my medical is limited and it’s hard to find another plastic surgeon that takes state medical. if anyone has a suggestion I am open for them
I am SO sorry you've had to go through this.... Unfortunately, the downside of tricky surgery like the TRAM flap is that there's a greater than usual chance of failure, for whatever reason - much more so than with, say, having your tonsils out.
I hope the first hurdle you can tackle is getting past your embarrassment around your husband. YOU are not your breasts - you're so much more. If you're in a (hopefully) loving relationship, he wants to be with you, to support you... to love you. And that means YOU - not your breasts. Of course you feel bad about your looks; as women, that's what we grow up learning, to care for (and about) our bodies. But please, please, try to have a frank discussion with your husband about this - if, as I say, you're in a truly loving relationship, I'm betting you're much more worried about the scars than he is.
Next, are you being treated at a hospital with social workers? If so, go speak with them about next steps. You need to see a different surgeon, and they should be able to help you find one. I have a couple of friends who've had troublesome TRAMS, and it took a few years - and a few surgeons - to set things right. You don't have to live in pain; and you CAN expect a better result than what you've currently got. So you'll have to self-advocate, which takes energy and willpower. But be strong - you can do this. And we're here for you, whenever you want to vent, or need some support. Take care - PJH