Your words are so wise.  I am a different kind of survivor, I survived my daughter's death from breast cancer and wish I could have died in her place. She was so beautiful and so ethical in all her ways.  I was with her most of the time during her battle, and I waited for her to talk about death till she wanted to.  She was able to tell us what she wanted done after her death, and she did believe in life after death which was a great comfort. I believe that being a good listener and not contradicting a patient is helpful. So many people want to help but do not know what to say or not say. Just listening and taking the cues from s/he who wants to talk is the most helpful. I wrote her story in 'Days of Goodbyes' after Maria died. That helped me, that was my way of talking. Ragnhild Munck