Calling Hospice

I don’t know how I became the “call hospice” person in my cancer support groups.  I had never used their services personally—until now.

Five days ago I called to congratulate my father on his 93^rd birthday.  He has become increasingly frail over the last few years, but his mind has been good, and I was looking forward to a nice phone chat.  Instead, I learned that he was drifting in and out of consciousness and couldn’t swallow.  My husband and I left immediately to start the eight-hour drive to his home.

He rallied some while we were there, but once again I was the “call hospice” person.  I guess I’d been practicing for this day for a long time.  My sisters thought it was a good idea, but my mother wasn’t so sure.  I explained to her that calling them didn’t commit her to anything; but it would give us some ideas about how to keep Daddy comfortable.  I suggested she call my dad’s doctor and ask.  (Most of the time you need a doctor’s referral for hospice services.)

Mom called the doctor’s office Monday morning.  Monday afternoon Montgomery Hospice called her to get more information and set up the appointment.  Tuesday afternoon the nurse and social worker were at my parents’ home talking to my dad, mom and one of my sisters.  Later my mother, my sisters and I had a conference call to discuss what happened.  My sister kept praising their professionalism and ability to pick up on the nuances of our family’s dynamics.

It is clear from just this first step that everyone feels much better about our situation.  My dad has continued to improve since my hurried visit last weekend, but we know he won’t be able to bounce back completely.  We are extraordinarily comforted by knowing that professional people will be with us through this journey helping us keep dad at home and as comfortable as possible while helping us care for him.

We certainly haven’t given up hope.  Hospice has given us all kinds of new hope.