I agree with you about the term "cancer free."  It always makes me uncomfortable.  It seems to have come into use as a more graceful way to say what doctors actually put on your chart:  "No evidence of disease."  This term is often abbreviated as NED, and it's what I say about myself even though it's been eleven years since my diagnosis.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this again.  I don't have any suggestions about the reconstruction issue because I didn't have reconstruction the first time.  It seems like a bilateral mastectomy might be a good solution for you.  Then you can choose a pair of prostheses in whatever size suits you.  However, this is a complicated decision, so you'll want to discuss the risks and benefits of all the options with your doctor.