Thursday, February 16, 2012
Just Diagnosed with Cancer? Chat with Experts

Breast Cancer and Grief Stages

You were shopping, sitting on the examining table, waiting in the doctor's office, or maybe getting ready to leave for work when you got the news.  The doctor or the nurse said, "The results are back.  You have cancer."   And then your mind went blank.  You didn't hear another w...
10/15/09 6:49pm

A cancer diagnosis is so shocking if you were feeling fine that cancer advocates, social workers and navigators are all good options to have for the woman when she hears "you have breast cancer".

10/16/09 1:39am

This is so true! Even though I expected it, I still wasn't able to remember what the doctor said after telling me, yes, it is cancer. All I know is I wish I had had someone with me when I heard the news so they could tell me what was said after that.

10/17/09 4:14pm

Yes, a real gift to a cancer patient is to offer to accompany the person to important doctor visits.  The shock is too great for the patient to be listening to anything once the doctor rattles off the diagnosis and treatment options.  I know I tuned out...and I remember wanting to drop out of that involuntary sorority of breast cancer survivors.  Having a recurrence did bring up all those old grief stages again, but Phyllis is right: I knew I had been down that path before and survived, so I had hope afresh.

11/10/09 2:32am

I had my biopsy on sept 10, so I was home nursing my little cut and watching all the Memorial shows about 9/11 that day, when my doctor called, I muted the TV, and she said I had tested positive for breast cancer.

 

Then on TV, the Twin Towers were on fire and crumbling down. I felt so awful. I thought, "geez, what a bad omen, 9/11...this can't be good..."

 

Then I had to call my Hubby who was in Delaware on business for two weeks. I had to tell him on the phone and I knew he would want to just be home with me...but without his work, we don't have insurance...so he stuck it out.

 

When he got home a week later, and i saw in his eyes...that's when it really hit me. The shock...but now I have a bookend to my story. Nov. 6, they took out my cancer, and I am a very lucky girl. I know it isn't over. But I am relieved that I made a good choice with the lumpectomy.

 

ON a road to recovery, and hope, and loving more than ever before.

11/10/09 5:27am

I'm so glad the surgery went well.  You'll go through all kinds of emotional ups and downs as you continue with treatment and recovery.  It's good that you have your husband sharing this journey with you.  I wish you speedy healing.

3/11/10 9:06pm

Your article included the following:  "The new shock is just as devastating, but in the back of our mind, we remember that we've been here before and we did get through it."  Reading these words have been possibly the best medicine for the grief and rage I've been feeling the last two days.  Thank you so much.

 

mary sue

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