5. Understand that the patient's anger about her cancer is not personal even when it seems to be directed at you. Sometimes if she's mad, you just have to take it. Rich told me about the time that Doracina hadn't been able to eat much. One night she thought an éclair might be good, so Rich went out searching everywhere for an éclair.  When he got home and gave it to her, it wasn't the kind Doracina had in mind. In a fit of frustration, she threw the éclair at Rich. Soon they were both laughing.

6. Be resilient and find the kind of support that fits your personality. Rich said that he wasn't much for face-to-face support groups. The IBC mailing list and a few minutes for a cup of coffee to recharge were what he needed. 

As Breast Cancer Awareness Month comes to a close, be sure you thank the support people in your life. It may be your husband who cleans you up after you vomit. It may be your friend three states away who listens to your long, rambling rants about what scares you. It may be your coworker who covers for you cheerfully when you miss work for medical appointments. These are the people who make our cancer journey easier to bear. Let's remember to express our gratitude.