Surgery 12/8 Bilateral Mastectomy

By IMC Monday, December 07, 2009

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Okay, so the reality of this ALL has FINALLY set in. I have been really strong thus far, until the pre-registration and nurse called today to confirm the actual surgery for tomorrow. Now, I can't stop crying. On 12/8, I will be having bilateral mastectomy and (L) lymph node dissection. 2 tumors, what were THOUGHT to be fibroademomas, were removed 4 weeks ago and things have been moving so slowly since then. I finally had an oncology nurse advocate for me and push for surgery to be scheduled, now all of the sudden it is "stat" and they rescheduled 15 patients to fit me in tomorrow. I feel that I haven't had time to digest this all, ask questions, etc., but I also just want this done and over with.

The pathology report showed invasive medullary carcinoma, ductal carcinoma in situ in my left breast. Breast MRI was "inconclusive", so that is why I have opted for the bilateral. I ONLY want to have to go through this surgery and chemo once and just want it over with, so that I can go on with my life. My head CT and brain MRI were negative last week, so we know that it hasn't metasized there. I am praying for a miracle that my lymph nodes are clear so that we don't have to take anymore tomorrow. I am waiting on resconstruction, b/c I have other health issues and am only 5'0", 90 lbs, so I don't have as many choices for reconstruction.

I am just praying that I heal as quickly as possible, so that I can enjoy my 2 young children. I am already missing my birthday, some Christmas parties, so I just want to be well enough to enjoy Christmas Day with them. ;) Then, my chemo will start on 12/28.

Praising and all of the rest of you that have already courageously gone through surgery, chemo, radiation, and/or reconstruction. Kudos to you!!! I am scared, but have faith, and will be at the other end of this and be cancer free soon too.

What's next for me?

Comments (9) | Add comment

Laura A. Learn-Hack

12/ 7/09 12:14pm

Your very strong and brave. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are never alone.

Laura

Phyllis Johnson, Health Guide

12/ 7/09 6:30pm

I fell apart the night before my surgery. I cried and cried. Then I wrote a poem saying good bye to my breast. The next day I was OK, well, reasonably OK, better than the night before.

I hope all goes well for you--clean margins, good lymph nodes, quick healing--all of it.

Peglove

12/ 9/09 2:12am

I also had a little breakdown and had a little sedative the night before.

You are going to do great. remember that you are in really goood hands, you have people around that love you and will care for you. so dont be afriad, and even if you can't help being afraid, just remember that fear will not change the great outcome of this whole mess.

I will think of you tonight, as I am up and thinking myself. If you pray, pray. If you meditate, try to. And if you love TV, I recommend cold case files...totally gruesome stories of murder, greed and mayhem...always helps me sleep. But I am twisted...

okay, have some tea? it's still before midnight...even if not, your body absorbs all liquids as long as its at least 8 hours before surgery.

Hugs to you---good vibes...

Peglove.

Peglove

12/ 9/09 2:14am

ooops, already happened? so let us know how you are when you get the chance! Hugs to you!

Peg.

Shirl

12/31/09 9:29am

It has finally set in what I went through. Not much pain. Operated on Friday home on Sunday. I was lucky, no chemo or radiation. Five years of Arimidex and so far no side effects. I am not having reconstruction. No more sugery for me. For me the worse part was the drain tubes and after they were removed I had to go in once a week(5 times) to have one drained. I don't blame you for being scared, but it hasn't been as bad as I imagined.

Anonymous

1/ 3/10 12:56pm

Think ahead - That's what I did and still do! I went through the same thing almost a year ago. I continue to give myself little goals to meet and exceed. That gives me control, helps mark my progress and highlights my success. For example, mark how high you can reach on a door frame, divide your chemo into thirds or half milestones on a calendar, make a side effect diary so you can start to consider some things "normal" for you during this time. Take time to wonder at some of the changes, even if you hate them like hair loss. How many people do you know who know what their head looks like or how the shower feels on it bald or that hair falls out and grows in at different rates? I viewed my hair loss as an opportunity to find wonder in nature. My family and I had a name for me at various stages during this very visible process and we laughed about it. Look ahead and focus on things outside yourself and on the things you can control. If you spend too much time in the trenches, you won't be able to see the sunlight. Your attitude is everything - use it to your best advantage. You are a survivor!

PJ Hamel, Health Guide

1/ 3/10 1:21pm

So, so, SO right on, A - thanks for this post. PJH

somaya

2/23/10 2:46am

hi, I was adignosed as having breast cancer on 13\9 and I had right mastectomy with lymph nodes 4\20 on 17/9 and from 19/10 till now I'm having chemotherapy . I think that psychological support is very important for us even visiting a psychologist at least to have someone listening to you openly without embarassment

Jehnavi

3/26/10 1:16am

The apt form of mastectomy surgery and treatment in case of breast cancer is based on numerous key aspects comprising of age, menopausal status, tumor staging and size, overall health condition, tumor grading (how aggressive the tumor is), hormone receptor status of the tumor and if/not lymph nodes have been affected.

Surgery 12/8 Bilateral Mastectomy

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