Okay, so the reality of this ALL has FINALLY set in. I have been really strong thus far, until the pre-registration and nurse called today to confirm the actual surgery for tomorrow. Now, I can't stop crying. On 12/8, I will be having bilateral mastectomy and (L) lymph node dissection. 2 tumors, what were THOUGHT to be fibroademomas, were removed 4 weeks ago and things have been moving so slowly since then. I finally had an oncology nurse advocate for me and push for surgery to be scheduled, now all of the sudden it is "stat" and they rescheduled 15 patients to fit me in tomorrow. I feel that I haven't had time to digest this all, ask questions, etc., but I also just want this done and over with.
The pathology report showed invasive medullary carcinoma, ductal carcinoma in situ in my left breast. Breast MRI was "inconclusive", so that is why I have opted for the bilateral. I ONLY want to have to go through this surgery and chemo once and just want it over with, so that I can go on with my life. My head CT and brain MRI were negative last week, so we know that it hasn't metasized there. I am praying for a miracle that my lymph nodes are clear so that we don't have to take anymore tomorrow. I am waiting on resconstruction, b/c I have other health issues and am only 5'0", 90 lbs, so I don't have as many choices for reconstruction.
I am just praying that I heal as quickly as possible, so that I can enjoy my 2 young children. I am already missing my birthday, some Christmas parties, so I just want to be well enough to enjoy Christmas Day with them. ;) Then, my chemo will start on 12/28.
Praising and all of the rest of you that have already courageously gone through surgery, chemo, radiation, and/or reconstruction. Kudos to you!!! I am scared, but have faith, and will be at the other end of this and be cancer free soon too.