You must be a very good brother for her to turn to you. This is such a tough situation, and will be for the whole family, as they try to help her through this. For the moment, I'd say respect her wishes, and don't share with the rest of the family. If you're close enough (geographically), ask if you can accompany her to her upcoming appointments; it all gets very confusing very quickly, and it really helps to have someone with a clear mind to ask questions and take notes. Most of all, tell her you're there for her, whatever she wants or needs; don't try to solve anything for her at the moment; just be her shoulder to lean on. I think she'll get over this initial shock of the breast cancer more quickly than she gets over her husband's sudden death; and I'll bet pretty quickly she decides to share her situation with the rest of the family. At that point, you might volunteer to tell people, and to be the go-between if she doesn't want to talk about it with everyone right away. I feel for you all - I hope you can support one another and get through this together. PJH