Thanks for ypur attention, iit is greatly appreciated, my PCP is handling it right now, he sent me to a Pain Specialist, he of course wrote 2 prescriptions for the oh so famous Fentanyl, I have since weaned myself off of this drug,,,yea,,,,at any rate I am no longer able to work, so now I have no insurance, my pain management Doc made an appt froor me to go get a electrical type reading on my nerves but the appt was made at the earliest 2 months, so I have missed that boat again as I have no insurance, my PCP who I love so very much, he is such a great humanitarian had ordered a MRI of head and neck, his dx is Demyelination.  So we are still waiting for results, should be ny Tuesday this coming week, I have applied fro disability, I am awaiting to hear next step.  I have already heard the horror stories as this can take years, whatever, I can not work and that is a certainty, i make the best of my good days, the bad are really bad and  get through them with God, I just let go,,,I let God take over, they are that bad.  But at any rate, I am keeoing a journal as to have a footprint of my journey, it may help someone in the future, or even myself,,,thanks agaunm for your thoughts, they are always welcomed.  I am going to list what my sypmtoms are, aand they are never known as to when they are worse, and ot how long they will last.  I have hot, and cold chills, mostly cold.  Imagine someone peeling your skin off your body and puring alcahaol on it, I have crushing bone spasms, that literally teak your breath away, they last on a second or 2 max, I kave pinging sharp pains that hit my legs, arms or abdominal area, I have nausea always, and have become immuned to it, i have diahrea on a rgular basis, my left arm is losing it's strength and is becoming numb, as well as my legs too.  I am in good shape, weight wise, I am 115-120, 5/2 eat good, my drink of choice is coke or pepsi, i can not stomach the smell of alcahol and use to love having a beer or 2 on the weekend,,, have not beeen able to do that in over a year.  doing a load of laundry wipes me out, taking a shower, wipes me out,,,somedays are better though i can go to store, only cloes ones, and unlaod my car, and then i have to rest.  I remain positive, and i have faked being good alot, I hate my family seeing me in pain, but now I can no longer fake it. It is what it is.  And with Gods insight I have accepted the fact, now i need to find a way to allow myself some quality.  There have been more days than I would like to say that I cry from the pain, yes, it hurts that bad, but to even cry, the back of my eyeballs sting, like someone is again pouring alcahol on them, so, i try not to cry.  I will be sitting there orstandin somehwere, and tears will just roll down my face,,,my body telling me it hurts.  It is the most strangest thing I have ever witnessed, and yes I would not believe it unless I saw it...well that;s what I would have thought before this.  Please note, I am tough, I am a fighter, and not  a wuss by no stretch, but this, whatever it is, is tough, and sometimes, I think it is winning.