Nanette, this is the perfect, perfect place to vent. I'm so glad you did. I wasn't trying to say you shouldn't be angry - it's only natural that you are. But I've found, from hard experience, that I need to realize what I'm feeling is anger; it's an emotion, impermanent; and I need to feel it, validate it, and try to move on. Like worry, anger makes YOU feel bad, and doesn't really accomplish much (unless, as you infer, you needed to get mad to kick yourself into gear). I didn't get any sense at all that you're a "mean" person - just a very frustrated woman who's gone through a terrible time, and is MAD AS HELL AND NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE, as that famous movie line goes.

I hope you can find a GOOD social worker at the hospital there, someone who'll really help you. I know it can be a terrific bureaucratic maze sometimes; I hope it's not, for you. I just want you to find someone who'll help you navigate the maze  of insurance (or lack thereof), treatment options, etc. Speaking of, find out if your hospital has any "patient navigators" - they're specially trained people who help patients "navigate" their health care, esp. patients needing financial help. Another resource for you would be the American Cancer Society (cancer.org); and networkofstrength.org, a breast cancer site that has a 24/7 hotline to help women needing to figure out problems concerning their treatment.

Please stay connected here, Nanette. Together, we can figure this out. Really. Take care - PJH