My mother is doing well after her chemo and radiation for breast cancer, BUT she doesn't want to talk, see anything that reminds her of like the pink ribbons, or discuss her cancer experience. Is this normal at first?
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Q: Why does my mother want to forget about her breast cancer?
Answers (5)
10/21/08 10:05pm
Jennifer, the whole cancer experience is a huge challenge, a major kick in the head. You think you're going to die, you go through all kinds of physical misery... I'm not surprised she doesn't want to talk or think about it. It's like touching a red-hot stove—dangerous! Eventually, she may be able to talk about her experience. Leave the door open, but don't press her; it's obviously too painful right now. And what people without cancer don't understand is this: you're never cured, even when it's over. You always have that little voice inside saying, "Is it back? Will I die?" Once you've faced death, it's there for good. It grows small and hides, for sure; but it's always with you. Which can be good, as it reminds you to live and love each day. But it's also tough. Just be there for her, Jennifer; she'll heal with time. Good luck to you both - PJH
10/23/08 10:55am
Jennifer
10/23/08 11:10am
Jennifer--It has been said that breast cancer patients feel that their cancer is being fought, while under treatment (chemo & radiation) but once those treatments are completed the patient feels exposed or less protected from the cancer. Perhaps your Mom is in that mode at this time. Be there for her but don't push, she'll talk in time. You could purchase a nice journal & pen for her and encourage her to write down her feelings, questions, fears, etc. with the knowledge that no one will read the journal. This can be a great release to get everything out on paper and out of your head, off your subconscious, etc. Not everyone wants to share their experiences with cancer, it is a personal choice. I always wanted to read and know about everything going on, etc. others prefer to just go through the treatments, etc. and then forget about it. Best of luck to both of you and your fight with Breast Cancer
10/23/08 11:24am
It could be too painful for her to talk about or a form of denial - she may still be in a state of denial/shock that this has happened to her. Is she doing alright otherwise??
10/23/08 3:34pm
I agree she may feel that talking about the cancer gives it power or makes it too "real" just let her know how proud you are of her, what an inspirarion she is to you and how strong you know she is and of course how much you love her. Let her know if and when she needs to talk that you are always there. From my own experience with BC moods and emotions and needs are constantly changing. Just be there for her.
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By Jennifer— Last Modified: 12/26/10, First Published: 10/21/08
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