Saturday, February 27, 2010 friend asks

Q: my friend is having a bi-lateral mastectomy in 2 weeks, I will be taking care of her after, help!?

I will be traveling to help my friend with her recovery after bi-lateral mastectomy. She will not be starting recon for 3 months later. Doc will be checking lymph nodes while in surgery. I am reading (very little info) about drains, can you give me some information on after care? cleaning drains? I am sure I will get directions on care but would like some instruction before. anything else I should know, please? Items that may be useful to have on hand in the house? I won't be there until the day before surgery, trying to get as much organized as I can. Of course I hate to even think of this but IF something is found in lymph nodes, whats next? very general question I know.

Thank you, any info at all is greatly appreciated!!

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Answers (3)

Phyllis Johnson, Health Guide

2/27/10 6:11pm

Your friend will probably able to take care of her drains herself and attend to her personal care on her own if she has some loose blouses to wear. She will probably have trouble lifting her arms higher than her shoulders and may still be sleepy and groggy from anesthesia depending on how early they send her home. If she needs prescription pain medicine (and she may not), she might not be fully alert. Cooking meals, doing laundry, driving, and perhaps screening calls so she can get a nap will probably be the main things she can't do herself at first. Of course, you will also play a big role as a listener if she wants to process her emotions with you.

If the pathology report shows that the cancer has already spread to her lymph nodes, she will probably have chemo after her surgical incisions have healed. That is usually about three weeks. It's too soon to cross the "what if she needs chemo" bridge yet.

You are a good friend to travel to help her. I hope all goes well with her surgery.

lia

2/27/10 9:43pm

Hi , I had a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction in may of 2008...

You are a good friend...she may have two drains, or four... two on each side.. I had four..they need to be emptied three times a day ..or as doctor ordered..and my husband did it ,,,it was a bit hard to manage by myself in the beginning. she will have pain moving her arms up and down at first..so helping with the drains and measuring for the doc's is helpful.. nurse's at hospital will teach you what to do ..simple. she will have to sleep on her back, and a bit elevated at first.. meal prep is helpful..and washing her hair in the sink for her will help...washing her back for her..and alot of TLC.... NO LIFTING!!!! AT ALL!!!! no heavier than a milk carton..so you may have to make sure she doesn't overdo it. Don't know where you are but I found washing my hair outside in the sun very refreshing...(it was May and I was in new york..let my kids do it..made them feel helpful.) just can't get bandages wet.. so sponge baths etc.

What a good friend.. good luck.

friend

2/28/10 11:49am

Thank you Lia, it seems such a whirlwind the first week and now trying to prepare from a distance, its hard but harder on my friend I know. I wish I could get her up here in NYC, I'm in NJ, for surgery but she needs her family for recovery too. Everyone recovers differently, some say serious help is needed others not so much. I'm just trying to prepare for anything I can do. Trying to get all ducks in a row, I guess.

Can I ask you, were you in bed long? up and roaming house is what I'm worried about, she will not be able to do nothing. Might have to tie her down, just kidding. I almost hope you say you were in bed for a week.

2008? almost 2 years!! Good for you and thank you for staying "on" this site, it is a wonderful help albeit one I wish no-one needed!!

thanks again

131mom

3/15/10 12:53am

hello friend

it is wonderful you are taking some time off to help and she will truely appreciate it.

if she is living by herself, she will not be too alert to document the fluid in the drains on her own. i had my bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction in oct 09 & i drained them but never wrote anything down at times, so my husband watched or wrote info. there is no need to cleanse the drains.

you will need to coordinate with her family as to who can do what & when. carecalendar.org is a wonderful website, there are other's like it, & it keeps track of meals, duties and status updates.

regarding hair, def won't be able to do that --- time depends on texture & length. i have long curly hair & it wasn't til dec that i had the strength to wash & dry. to make her feel better, drive her to a salon for wash & blow dry. once a week hair wash is good. a stool for shower is very helpful. she will be sleeping a lot, but also have her do arm exercises & walk. it is important that she does the arm exercises so she doesn't loose range of motion. it will hurt but she has to do them.

good luck to her and you.