Hi Trish.

I am 34 and have had breast cancer twice in just the last 3 years.  I've also attempted reconstruction twice on each breast because my first attempts failed due to dying tissue.  I've had 8 different breast surgeries between each of my mastectomies, reconstruction surgeries, and the removal of a newly discovered cancerous spot on my chest wall - and I'm still not done yet.  Once I actually finish my treatment I will be moving forward with my saline injections, then replacing my expanders for implants, then someday maybe doing the nipple part.  I know my situation is very different from yours, but it is what makes me known to most regulars on here as the reconstruction expert.

I understand the pain you get from looking at yourself.  It was pretty much the driving force behind why I went ahead with surgery despite my husbands pleas of saying it did not matter.  It was something I had to do for myself and I wondered if I could ever look normal again.  In the beginning I had only had a mastectomy on one side, so I had to wear a bra with a prostetic boob.  I hated it.  The thing weighed nearly 3 pounds.  Then I had so many lump scare with my other breast I decided to get a mastectomy on that side as well.  I could have very well left it at that and gone flat chested, but I was tired of not feeling like I looked "normal".  I felt like other people stared.  I longed for breast again, because at one time it had been one of my best features.  I loved v neck shirts and now I couldn't waer anything of the sort.

Though my journey has been long and treacherous, I do not regret the decision.  My plastic surgeon saved my life finding and removing the suspicious looking scar tissue that was cancer.  I hate to think what might have been had I not went through with reconstruction.

Ulitimately no one can tell you what to do or help you decide.  It is something you have to do yourself, for yourself.  Though you will always have faded scars, reconstruction can help you gain back your self image.  Make you feel whole - look normal.....and quite honestly, the pain is not *that* bad.  Sure you're sore after surgery, but it's better than a mastectomy.  The saline injections are minor and not worth the anxiety it may cause thinking about a needle stuck in your chest....and once you have a bit of saline injected, the soreness is just a tad uncomfortable - yet you can drive and you will start feeling proud of the little mounds you can now display and grow.

I would say at least meet with a reconstruction platic surgeon and discuss the surgery options.  At least then you can make an informed decision - and hey, age is just a number.  Don't let it hinder you!

Good luck!

Angi