There can be indirect medical benefits to joining a support group. You may hear information about treatments or clinical trials from other group members. Belonging to a group can reduce your psychological stress, depending on your group and your leader. Sometimes, those who stay in a group for a year or longer don’t want to keep discussing their breast cancer with friends and family, who may have had enough of the subject. So the group gives members an opportunity to be understood in different way, by validating feelings and fears that remain after treatment has ended. With breast cancer, the emotional component lasts so much longer than the physical component.
What is the down side to joining a group?
Not everyone wants to participate in a group experience, or individuals may feel they would benefit more from individual counseling than a group environment. Many people have said to me over the years, “I’m just not a joiner or a group person.” Those people may find their own way to recovery in a different manner. There’s no right or wrong way for women to recover.
Sometimes people find other people’s stories more anxiety-provoking than helpful. Someone may be too fragile to witness someone in worse shape. Or, conversely, you may see how someone who chose a different treatment is feeling better than you are, which can lead to doubts about your own decisions.
The group may not be helpful for various reasons. There may be a member who, due to her own psychology, takes up an inordinate amount of the group’s time. Or someone in the group may recur or die, which brings you back to a place of anxiety and fear.
Describe the ideal participant in a group.
There isn’t one. When groups come together, there are lots of opportunities to learn things from people who may be different from you. I prefer groups that are not homogenous, where everyone is not in stage 1 or the same age, or just diagnosed. Be open-minded.
What do you consider inappropriate group behavior?
Taking up all the time, being judgmental, criticizing other people’s treatment choices, trying to be the leader. But that’s pretty unusual.
