Breast Reconstruction FAQs

Q. You say it’s all about me. But what about my significant other? He should have some say too, right?

A. Sure, if that’s the kind of relationship you have, one where you make decisions together. But there’s no “should” about this; every couple lives by their own rules.

One way or another, you’ll talk about this; and he or she may be very hesitant to give advice, for fear of saying the wrong thing, or “forcing” you in a direction you don’t want to go. Or, he or she may have very strong opinions, and let you know what they are. Only you know how to navigate this potential minefield: your desires, vs. your mate’s.

I’m no psychologist, but one thing I’d caution against is this: getting reconstruction because you feel you’ll be “unlovable” or unattractive, in your other’s eyes, unless you do. Love based on appearance is on shaky ground… and a decision this major should have some pretty firm ground beneath it.

Bottom line: From “staying flat,” to implants, to reconstruction using your own tissue, you have a variety of options after a major-excision lumpectomy or mastectomy. Examine them all fully–with your doctors, your family, your friends, if you like–then follow your heart. Make this decision for yourself, no one else; because you’re the one who’ll live with it the rest of your life.