Living With Quiggles: Up Close and Personal

Stigma:

1) the recognition of difference based on some distinguishing characteristic or mark;

2) a consequent devaluation of the person

Quiggles:

A made-up term (by famous sociologist, Erving Goffman) to identify all of the variations and differences of the human body which occur either from birth, daily wear and tear, accident, or illness which can be, and will be, stigmatized.

"Living With Quiggles" has covered a wide range of stigma issues such as the impact of staring; how language stigmatizes; the decision to attempt to "pass" in society by keeping a health challenge or disability hidden; the reactions when the birth of a baby brings an unexpected Quiggle into a family; and many other subtle issues of stigma in healthcare.

For the most part we've explored stigmatization as it applies to strangers who connect briefly as they stumble upon one another while going about their daily lives. But how does one handle stigma when the dynamics become more personal and the relationships closer?

In 2003 The Simon Foundation for Continence organized an international conference on Defeating Stigma in Healthcare. One of the papers presented, authored by two psychologists from the University of Michigan (Julie A. Garcia and Jennifer Crocker), explored stigma experienced in closer, more personal interactions. Following are excerpts from their abstract and conclusions of the presentation, entitled "Stigma and Self-Esteem from Two Sides: Managing Devalued Identities in Social Interactions". (The full text of the paper appeared in the Journal of Wound, Ostomy and Continence Nursing Feb 2005.)

ABSTRACT: When stigmatized and non-stigmatized people interact with one another, both experience threats to self-esteem, but for different reasons. For the stigmatized, they may experience self-esteem decrements because they feel that their group is devalued in the eyes of others. On the other hand, non-stigmatized others may fear that their actions will be perceived as biased, thereby threatening their self-image as an unprejudiced person. These fears manifest themselves in different ways. Fearing rejection and disapproval, the stigmatized may engage in defensive strategies such as withdrawal from contact with potential stigmatizers, heightened vigilance for signs of possible rejection, or attempts to conceal their stigma, if possible. When stigmatized people are vigilant for rejection, they are more likely to perceive and then accuse the other of prejudice or blame themselves because they feel that they deserved the negative feedback. Non-stigmatized others may try to inhibit or suppress expression of prejudice which paradoxically makes acting in a biased manner more likely to occur. Thus, both the stigmatized and non-stigmatized act in ways that makes their worst fears more likely to come true.

CONCLUSION: The great discomfort that stigmatized and non-stigmatized people feel when interacting with each other is, in the final analysis, about ego. Each is afraid of being devalued, being wrong, being accused, or being inferior. These experiences are painful for our ego, but they do not represent real dangers to our well-being unless we let them. Our egos want to see us as the victim, and the other person as the perpetrator. But we are all both a victim and a perpetrator when we are driven by our egos.