Living with Quiggles: Trying to Pass as Normal

Stigma:
1) The recognition of difference based on some distinguishing characteristic or mark;
2) A consequent devaluation of the person

Quiggles: A made-up term (by famous sociologist, Erving Goffman) to identify all of the variations and differences of the human body which occur either from birth, daily wear and tear, accident, or illness which can be, and will be stigmatized.

The cost stigma extracts from those who are disqualified from full social acceptance never ceases to amaze me. A huge part of the costs that surround stigma management is the effort put into passing, the term used by Dr. Goffman to describe the behavior of individuals who have a stigmatized health condition or disability which they can (although only with substantial effort) keep hidden. Goffman states that: "Because of the great rewards in being considered normal, almost all persons who are in a position to pass will do so on some occasion by intent." There seem to be many creative ways that people discover to pass, probably many more then there are health conditions people are trying to cover up. Following are examples of these efforts to pass from the book Stigma: Notes On The Management of Spoiled Identity.

"We who stutter speak only when we must. We hide our defect, often so successfully that our intimates are surprised when in an unguarded moment, a word suddenly runs away with our tongues and we blurt and blat and grimace and choke until finally the spasm is over and we open our eyes to view the wreckage."

"... and suppose after George gets out everything is going well and somebody throws it up in his face. That would ruin everything. I live in terror of that - a complete terror of that." This fear is being expressed by George's wife. The poor woman has spent the time he has been hospitalized for a mental illness preparing for him to be able to pass upon being discharged ... she has done so by lying to her co-workers about where he is, distancing herself from her friends and family to keep his secret, and hurrying home between work and evening hospital visits to prevent the possibility of a helpful neighbor picking up her mail and spotting a bill from George's hospital.

"I managed to keep Mary from knowing my eyes were bad through two dozen sodas and three movies. I used every trick I had ever learned. I paid special attention to the color of her dress each morning, and then I would keep my eyes and ears and my sixth sense alert for anyone that might be Mary. I didn't take any chances. If I wasn't sure, I would greet whoever it was with familiarity. They probably thought I was nuts, but I didn't care. I always held her hand on the way to and from the movies at night, and she led me, without knowing it, so I didn't have to feel for curbs and steps."

"I never go to local movies. If I do go to a movie I select a large house like Radio City where I have greater choice of seats and can pick an end seat where I can rush to the bathroom if I have gas. When I go on a bus I pick my seat just in case. I sit on an end seat or near the door." - reported by a person with a colostomy.