Wife of Head Injured Vet

It is always difficult to find places to help with in-home caregiver education, respite, medication and other issures that are a daily concern to me. I am his only caregiver. Trained in the subtle and the loud issues of care. His head injury and for that matter his "organic brain syndrome' feels like it has become my own. He is not aware of the days he is dangerous to himself. He cannot tell me when he is hurting or needs extra meds. I must do that. It seems that I forget myself and my own hopes of a fun time in the garden or at the art board is gone, just gone. No one is to blame. We have no choice. There is no respite when the two weeks the VA gives us a year is complicated and fringes on begging rather than helping. I know who will die first and it won't be my patient. The real problem is the poor effort doctors make to hear me as his primary caregiver. I am very good at explaining and expressing my concerns about him. Yet, every new doctor the VA sends seems to 'write-me-up' rather than deal with the content of my concerns for my patient. I am so angry that doctors insist on good education for the in-home faimily caregiver; but never respect the certificates and efforts enough to listen. I don't discuss myself, ever. Don't I have the right to answers and questions he is no longer able to express for himself. I am never rude. Yet; there is little time given to even consider wrting the things the caregiver expresses regarding her patient. I feel locked into the Veterans Administartion and like I am a ghost when I offer them my daily information. Communication with the patient is easier than talking with any doctor. We need doctors who can see us as the primary caregiver for that patient.