Tipping Point

Dear Suzanne,

This is my first time visiting your site.

I am happy to hear of your progress in getting recognition for caregivers. We need support for those silent hero's who allow their family member to stay at home rather then be placed in an institution or group home.

My situation is a bit different then a traditional caregiver.

Three of our adult children have been diagnosed with a brain tumor.

Two of them have residual brain damage following radiation therapy.

I took care of all three during surgery recovery, and thrapy. This started 17 yrs. ago.

 

My frustration today is that although all three live independantly I have supported them with doctor apointments, shopping, paying bills, etc. Which I don't mind doing.

My frustration comes from finding a caregiver support group to discuss caregiving from a distance. The tradtional caregiver group is usually for people who have full time care of the family member, or friend.

 

We have always encouraged, and supported our children to stay independant, and self sufficient for a s long as they are able, but with this comes constant struggles for the caregiver in knowing when and what is crossing the lines of respecting privacy, and yet keeping them on track with decision making.

 

I am not sure you can give me a direction for help, but thought I would throw this out to you for any suggestions.   

I feel so sorry for the last correspondents problem (sorry, I cant see the name from here, I am new to the site!!) - helping someone remain independent is incredibly incredibly hard - I did this when supporting my mother when caring for my father with Alzheimers, and thus we were able to care for him until he died, at home.  I am endeavouring to support my mother in her own flat right now, at 90.  but it is tough - and I think you have it tougher, with such younger members of the family.  I dont know the answer!  but my very best of thoughts to you and your family....