Family caregiving is most often thought of as an experience that comes with our parents aging, and that of course is true, but caregiving isn't age specific. It can happen at any time. My husband was diagnosed with MS when he was 31. Children are born with Downs Syndrome and teenagers are in car accidents.
There is a growing subpopulation of family caregivers who need our attention now -- the parents, partners, spouses, children, siblings and others who are taking care of a veteran returning from Iraq or Afghanistan. We all know bad things can happen at any time, and when someone enters a war zone the chance of something bad happening rises exponentially. Nevertheless, when we take our marriage vows in our twenties, as I did, and say we'll be there for each other "in sickness and in health" we never imagine that we will be called on to fulfill that promise so soon. When we see our kids tall and straight, out of high school, filled with the energy of life, it is hard to imagine them being truly needy again and us perhaps needing to parent them in some ways again
The shock of seeing a loved one missing a limb, having nightmares, not being able to think clearly is hard to get over. One day everything is fine and the next day life has been turned upside down and altered forever. Despite the pictures we see on TV or in the movies, if we haven't been to war we can never imagine quite what it is like. And it is oh so hard to try and understand what these returning men and women are going through when they come home.
My heart goes out to them and their families -- young wives, fiancés, parents, et al. Whether you agree with the war or not, our men and women in uniform went abroad following the orders they'd been given. Those who have returned and those who are caring for them need our special attention and help now.
