Recognizing an unacceptable medical response not only helps the patient select the right physician, but also combats the possibility that the patient will feel worse about themselves for bringing up an uncomfortable topic which has met with an unhelpful response. For example, the following are often heard unhelpful responses to questions about incontinence: “At your age, what do you expect?” “It’s a natural part of aging.” “What you are experiencing is minor, some of my patients have no control left.” Another possible challenge is that the topic you bring up is briefly acknowledged and then the discussion is diverted with a response such as “Your major health problem, Mr. X, is your weight and your smoking.” While this indeed may be quite true, if the patient has just mentioned another problem, this response is of little value and may lead the patient to the belief that what they want to address is an inappropriate topic.
If as a patient you feel you have been a good communicator and have not received the help that you need - additional action is called for. Remind your doctor that you really would like help with your challenge, that it is a problem of significance in your life, and then ask for a referral to a specialist who is interested and knowledgeable regarding your situation.
Remember that you are a consumer in search of help. It is within your right to evaluate which professional can best give you that care. You can, with respect, request that your physician discuss your problem in depth and to your satisfaction, however uncomfortable both of you might be at any given time.
