Tammy Faye is in the last stages of colon cancer, which has spread to her lungs. Her daughter, who has devoted herself to caring for Tammy in her home, has said, “This is what you do when your mother is sick.” That pretty much sums up how most “family caregivers” feel about caring for their loved ones. They do it because that’s what you do.
Many of those taking care of a loved one because “that’s what you do” shun the label of caregiver, which brings to mind a picture of an emotionally uninvolved paid worker. You don’t get paid for what you do and don’t expect to, so how can you be a caregiver? However, the Family Caregiver Self-Awareness and Empowerment Project (2002) found that when those in a caregiving role called themselves either “family caregiver” or “caregiver,” they become more successful caregivers to their loved one.
Advantages of Self-Identification
The Family Caregiver Self-Awareness and Empowerment Project found some definite advantages to self-identification.
Self-Care
When caregivers acknowledged their roles they were more likely to take better care of themselves. You may feel guilty thinking about your own needs when your loved one is so sick; however, taking care of yourself is actually one of the most important actions you can take as a caregiver. After all, if you become ill who would take care of your loved one?
How do I take care of myself?
1. Make time for your own regular medical checkups. With all the appointments you may be scheduling for your loved one it might feel impossible to find time for your own medical care. You must make the time. Remember you’re important to your loved one’s care.
2. Do the basics. The basics include what we all must do regularly: eat healthy meals and get regular exercise. These things can help to relieve some of the stress that inevitably comes from long-term caregiving.
3. Respite. Beyond these basics you need to take a break now and then. This doesn’t need to be an elaborate vacation that would take you away from your loved one for too long. A respite could be something as simple as a friend lending a helping hand for a short time while you sit under a tree and read a book for a couple hours.
