When Your Loved One Isn't Very Loveable: Part I

(Page 3)

If a new medical problem is not the cause, simply knowing what is normal for a particular condiiton may help, says Edie Cannon, who has been a caregiver since February 1994. "It helps a lot to know that his behaviors are normal for someone with Alzheimer's. It makes you feel better to know that this happens to most people with the disease," she says.

Prior problems between the caregiver and care recipient can compound the caregiving effort and be the cause of a difficult, or even unbearable, situation. For example, a couple who never communicated feelings while both partners were well may be unable to discuss how the illness is affecting them. Instead, both may act out their anger, sadness, and frustration on the other, thereby compounding the original problem. The same may be true for a couple whose long-awaited child is born with a birth defect or a debilitating illness.

Gaining an intellectual understanding of why your care recipient is being difficult is an important thing to do, but it doesn't make living with them any easier. Hopefully, the suggestions in Parts II and III will help.

Marla Gold is a freelance writer. She lives in Annandale, VA.

Reprinted from When Your Loved One Isn’t Very Lovable with permission of the National Family Caregivers Association, Kensington, MD, the nation’s only organization for all family caregivers.

1 800 896 3650
National Family Caregivers Association.

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