Survival Advice from The Experts
In order to not drown both emotionally and financially it is important to establish open lines of communication with all the ingredients of this sandwich. Even if your family has not been terribly good at communicating in the past, now is the time that you must learn to do this.
First, you must ask your parents some difficult questions, probably questions you have never asked them before. This time of increasing role reversal can be tough for everyone. You need to be empathic about your parents feelings of privacy, of course, but you also must protect your own future. This means you need to know about your parents’ assets. You probably will need to discuss establishing a durable power of attorney for their finances, a health care directive and the possibility of updating wills. The National Council on Aging found in one survey that many caretakers were willing to jeopardize their own retirement assets to help their parents with long-term care or to get their children through college. Experts agree that this is a poor strategy. They insist that you first exhaust your parents’ resources and make sure your parents have long-term care insurance. They also suggest you seek help from social service and from an elder law attorney. For the kids, start a college savings plan or take out loans. Whatever you do don’t stop contributing to your own retirement. This is not a good solution either emotionally or financially for anyone. Ultimately the kids will be glad that you thought of yourself first when they become part of the Club Sandwich Generation.
References:
Abaya, C. (n.d). The Sandwich Generation Retrieved February 21, 2008 from www.TheSandwichGeneration.com
Chatzky, J. (October, 2006) Just when you thought it was safe to retire... Money, 35 (10) 37-38.
Durham, M. (January 12, 2004). The nutcracker generation. New Statesman, 133 (4670) 26-27.
Grundy, E. & Henrietta, J. C. (2006, Sept) Between elderly parents and adult children: A new look at the intergenerational care provided by the ‘sandwich generation.’ Ageing & Society, 26 (5) 707-722.
McCormack, K. (2006, October 16). Strategies for the “Sandwich Generation.” Business Week Online. Retrieved February 21, 2008, from http://208.34.333.222/bin/rdas.dll/RDAS_SVR=web.ebscohost.com
Williams, C. ( Summer, 2005). The Sandwich Generation. Canadian Social Trends, Catalogue No. 11-008.
Wolff, F. (2008). Club sandwich generation. Senior Women Web, Retrieved on February 22, 2008 from http://www.seniorwomen.com/articles/articlesWolffSandwich.html.
