I give myself a pat on the back for having lost 15 pounds and kept it off. I am definitely feeling better, have noticed that I can move around better and can endure any exercise that I do for a longer period of time. I am down one clothes size --- maybe a size and a half, have noticed that my clothes are fitting better and I am enjoying wearing things that I haven't put on in a long time. But is that it? Is that where is stops? My goal was to lose 40 pounds, and even though I have made a noticeable start, I am no where near finished. Yet I can't seem to get the scale to budge and knock off even one more pound!
I have now maintained my weight loss of 15 pounds for more than two months so that's an accomplishment. I feel like I have passed a big hurdle and that I am not going back to that original spot ever again. But at the start, I was at a point where I was the heaviest I had ever been. So my weight loss goal of 40 pounds was not unrealistic.
I have begun to see the natural shapeliness of my body, the curves where they were intended to be. But there is still plenty of excess body fat that I face when looking in the mirror. It's not rolls and rolls, but my body is not yet trim and fit. I still have a quite a ways to go to tone and really, I still need to lose more weight in order for that toning to occur.
But it is now late fall turning into winter; the exact time of year that I fear in being able to get in the exercise I need in order to stay on my weight loss path and reach my goal. In the summertime the days are longer and the weather is warmer so I have a much greater opportunity to get in some exercise during some time of the day - even if it turns out to be 7 or 8 at night. But now, with darkness setting in before the end of the work day and the weather turning cold from the outset of the day my chances of doing any kind of outdoor exercise is significantly diminished - almost to the point where I am not exercising during the weekend. This is taking me back to the original pattern I was in when I starting out on this weight loss attempt and I am afraid (even panicked) that I am going to go back to where I began!
I am much, much more committed to weight loss attempt than I was last year and I think that has helped me to get a run in during the weekend days. But at best that adds up to one to two runs per week - as opposed to doing some exercise everyday during the summer! So I am stuck in a rut! I have the desire to keep on the path and lose more weight, and tone up and become fit, but I can't figure out how to get there - and it's really killing me.
I know I can do better than this and I really want to push through to the next level but whatever I have been doing lately isn't getting me there. I have got to find a way to get some indoor cardio exercise in that will help me get results. I feel I am so close, I don't want to just hold and maintain --- I need something to help me breakthrough and get out of this rut!