Chronic Illness and Relationships

By Stacy Saturday, June 02, 2007

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This is the first of several Share Posts covering relationships, sex, and the way that they effect those with chronic pain. I hope that we can open a dialogue about these seldomly discussed subjects.

I will be attending a seminar in mid-June entitled "Sex and Intimacy in Chronic Illness & Disability." I hope to bring back new ideas and interesting topics for future SharePosts.

However, in the meantime, if you have any questions, comments, etc just let me know! Please feel free to contact me privately if you have a question that you feel is sensitive.

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Ally

6/ 4/07 9:44pm

Dear Stacy,

Thank you for this Sharepost on relationships. It is very hard to know when you should tell your significant other about your chronic problem and that it won't be going away. I'm afraid it'll scare them off because they just plain don't understand the illness. I suffer from TMJ Disorder also and have been diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia in the left side of my face. It's tough, because there are days when it's hard to get out of bed and keep my life going. I must say that my life goes on, but at a slow pace most of the time...

I'm looking forward to the information you bring back from the seminar you're attenting in June. Keep us all posted and Thanks Again!!

God Bless,

Ally

annebeckett

6/12/07 6:16pm

Hey, Stacy.

YES!!! This is an extremely "touchy" topic. Of course, I have absolutely NO qualms about saying, "I want SEX!!!, I Want to KISS A MAN-BOY!!!"..., to people I know. Of course, saying it to someone you hardly know, and may have a crush on, is extremely difficult. Recently, I was dating a very nice man. I gave him just a small taste (no pun intended) of what I deal with and he didn't call again. I met with someone I used to really like and, after having to tell him that his kissing was incredibley painful to me, he did call; again and again. I was the one who didn't want to go through another night of that!

Yes, we with chronic pain (and tmd, esp., I think) have a big issue to bring up before anything can go forward. Of course, this does limit our choices and, at nearly 50, I don't need yet another limitation!

SO, let me know what you find out, ok?

Anne

MaggieMay78

6/14/07 1:27am

Stacy,

This is definitely a very interesting topic! I know that my chronic pain has such a HUGE impact on my marriage. It has dominated our marriage for the last two years, and sometimes I just feel terrible about that. I try not to let it take over, but sometimes it's just impossible. I do my best to try and keep things "light" and "fun", but at times, I just can't do it.

AND...since I have moved to a new city...I also want to make new friends. But it's hard to pretend that I'm not in pain...and I find myself wondering, when do I tell new friends about my chronic pain? How much do I tell them? I so badly want people to understand that I'm NOT making it up, and I can't just "get over it." I don't want to talk about it all the time with them, but I DO want them to realize that it's an ONGOING problem for me...and that sometimes I may have to cancel plans, do something low-key, etc, and that I'm not just some hypochondriac.

Anyway, thanks again for writing about this...it really hit home for me!!!

-Meg

Mary

10/ 1/07 8:35pm

I have Hepatitis C, Diabetes and Dysthimia-((long term low level depression) with sometimes episodes of major depression (currently). When I feel sick I have to resl a lot. I can only go out so many times. Also people are afraid of having any sex with a person with Hep C because they are afraid of that minute miniscule chance of contracting it, even with protection. My husband of 15 years divorced me partly due to my illness and lack of energy which yes he thought was all in my head. Please help. Is there a dating site for people with chronic illnesses????

Chronic Illness and Relationships

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