In the back of my mind, I also know that the option of returning home is always there. However, I choose not to take that option no matter how comforting and easy it might be. I can go back to Atlanta to visit my family anytime, but San Francisco is my home now.
So has the surgery been worth it? In some ways it has, and in others it hasn't. I think that by the time I got to the last surgery, a total joint replacement, I had run out of options. Perhaps it would have been better for me to put off surgery longer in the beginning rather than waiting until I got to the end, out of choices, before I evaluated whether I did the right thing or not. Keep in mind though that I was in severe pain, thinking that this surgery would at least help enough that I could be more functional in day to day life. Instead of the surgery itself making a huge difference in my life, actually, the LACK OF surgeries available to me at this point has made more impact. I have no other options left - I have two fake implants as joints and absolutely nothing I can do to relieve any pain from them or the nerve damage that I've sustained from having so many proceudres. This in and of itself has given me a kind of peace. I'm forced to deal with this and forced to come to the reality that there is not much I can do to change the current situation. When you can't do much to change the situation you are in, you do your best to deal with it and make the best of it.
So, would I do it again? I guess not, but it's so difficult to say. Of course hindsight is 20/20 and it's always easier to criticize yourself and your decisions after they are over. Perhaps, though, I needed this last surgery, and this last option, to finally come to terms with the fact that chronic jaw pain will always be in my life. I feel more adjusted now than I ever have, and feel as though I am happier now than I have been in a very long time.
My advice for anyone considering jaw surgery is to really weigh your options and think of your future. If there is ANY possible way that you can deal with the pain you're in at the moment without having surgery (pain specialists, conservative treatment, whatever!), that would be your best bet. I have heard from so many patients "I sincerely thought the pain couldn't get any worse! But if I knew then what I know now, I would have never had those surgeries." I've even heard from many dentists and oral surgeons that "no treatment is better than most, if not all, treatments available."
This is *my* story. This is not every story. It is not my intention to scare anyone who is considering TMJ surgery. There are truly successful cases out there. However, I think it is important that patients are made aware of all possible outcomes.. and that is the reason I write this. I would also like for patients to learn from my experiences and have someone that can answer questions for them if they need it.
Stacy
I don't have jaw pain or even suffer from TMJ, I can only imagine how awful it must be.
I remember having an adsessed tooth requireing a root canal once and while waiting until the abx had getten control of the infection, I had decided right then that jaw or mouth pain has got to be the very worst.
I do suffer though with chronic spinal pain and Fibromyalgia though.
I really thought your article was very good and hit home with me, as I think your comments, thoughts and suggestions can be related with and for any pain sufferer.
I've been going through a time of exceptance with my pain and illness over the course of the past several months, trying additional treatments, supplements and anything possible to either benefit by creating even a slight amount of relief or just making you learn to better face the daily pain and discomfort.
You did not mention if you worked or not, but I guess you must be, since your on your own.
When I considered moving away from family and all that's familiar to me, I could not even consider it. It just seems too frightening. You must be a very brave woman and you should really be proud of yourself. I think your story could certainly help other with the courage to step out and start a new life in another city too.
Thank you for sharing
Betty