Thought I would share a few words of encouragement.  These things I speak of are from my own personal journey and please remember to seek professional help if needed or to check on advice you read online!  i have know this age old friend chronic pain since childhood and have to be honest it took me most of my life to this present state I am currently at; one free of those narrcotics and other meds they (docs) had  convinced me that it was "my" solution to my circumstances. I know others do require them to manage through there days though.

  I have to say I belived that lil bottle was my personal savior and all!  I have always been a realist and figured this is what was safe and right for me?  I know we all need help with the transition through the differnet stages of our disability so I recommend all to be patient  "first and foremost with themselves" then your "family and doctor".  These medicines may help depending on your circumstances and I know some folks eventually have only that choice alone, but I assure you their are tools to help with finding peace of mind.  One must find the minimum of narrcotics needed to have Quality of life; and this should be done with a family physician to do this safely 'Not Cold Turkey' that is dangerous and could lead to more depression. The thing is friends depression and pain can go hand in hand!  I myself have felt the frustrations with those around me and the doctors. i realize the doctors are just as frustrated because their job is to heal and cure not cause harm and for some reason I think they know that alot of us left with that choice of a lifetime of medications will eventually wear and tear down our health.  I personally did not get to the stage of needing meds until i was around 25 years old and unfortunately sacraficed alot of childhood life by bein angry and depressed about my future looking bleak and full of suffering.  I know now that this had alot to do with how one character develops and it took some time seein a physcitrist about my self hate not towards others but myself; these are physcological battles I never settled and found that they haunted me later in life at 25 years. old.  I hope if anyone finds their situation to lead to that stage to do as I and find professional help. i can say honestly at the time maybe that pain managemnt helped me make that step outside the box I kept myself in my whole life.  When I found myself in real trouble that is one of a physical and emotional downward spiral;I voluntarily checked in to the hospital to have those able to help me phsycologicaly get back on my feet.  The one important thing is to do this before you give into the fear.  I found myself looking to numb my suffering and at the same time one tends to escape from the world; this is hte abyss that is tough to climb out of alone. Today and it took three years to get here I am narrcottic free and with my family physcians to do this safely.  The idea is to make things and living everyday as comfortable as possible; be it the shoes you wear the chair you sit in the car you drive' I have to say these things are something one will have to figure as you go along in life. i am sorry I cannot give the solution, only what helped me!  Quality is to me the postive people around my life and those that never dwell on my problem but treat me as an equal and know i may have a disability , but the abilty to do so many other things in life.  Contribute to somthing and make it yours and cherish the good days you have a postive memory is very healing and to remember those times; not all the hurt.  I know the pain tends to be constant and for me  it takes my breath away at times. I personally take a moment and remember its a sign to ease up or slow down a bit; but never give in or allow it to dicatate your attitude towrds "your day" " especially yourself" and "others around you".  If one can find a place to escape in creativity' be it Arts, Cultural activities, Church activities or really anything you find that brings comfort iin your life you will discover this is your God given gift to share with other and this is the TOOL no physician could have perscribed!  Remeber friend that sometimes people that suffer chronic pain tend to give more of themselves to others and be cautious with this because it does bring joy and these feel good endorphines tend to be addictive and you may wear yourself out by sacraficing your need to accomplish your short term Goals for wanting to satisfy others to feel good.  Their may never be "forever feel good" but their is and I promise the state in which you are starting to live evryday rather than just existing everyday.  

Myself the meds were too toxic and I found other means to redirect my pain postively into my silversmithing these last 13 years and at 38 years old am trying to earn back those 7 years I lost due to 280mg of Oxycontin evryday and those fentnyl duragisic patches; tahnkfuly after 28 days in the hospital I got off 'em all and liver and kindey recovered. 

It has been 3 years and everyday i find new ways of gettn through the day and am sorry for those that have to make that long journey to find the right TOOLS but if you stay the course and know their are those here in this forum that care and are here always to help you can do it. If you find the need to have someone hold your hand to help guide you in this journey like I did; take comfort in knowing you are not alone in your plight! you were never alone!

communicate with your physicain on how you want to better your future and not just one of bein content with your current situation.  It is a yearning a hunger to want to better your days ahead and to know this may be a life sentance that we have to acknowledge and face bravely everyday and with Gods grace you will find peace.

Hope your Physican provides you help today!

Okie Fella!

MB

Hello! Angel07

It is good to hear your words and know their is so much strength in 'em.  Knowing we were never alone and God has always held us closer on the worst of days.  I belive His Grace is sufficient enough for my suffering and truly this sustains me and I find Peace in my everyday now. I volutarily gave up all my meds three years ago and it is truly an awakening of the mind and spirit.  I spent 7 years in group pain management therapy putting all my faith in those lil' bottles and it was me all along who had the anwsers to my problem.  It seems like you have had a long journey down that path of suffering and it is something every individual has to go through a self discovery of what is a pain free day?  One can build walls around like a defense mechanisim but in the end it will come crashing all around us. The structure of pain is a fortress which can only be chisled away; with much patience! I found over the last thirty years I was only pushing at the wall and never truly found its achiles heel "its weak point" thus I never managed my life according to my limitations.  I can say long term suffering can and will alter our psycological profile, it is tough not allowing others to enter our saftey bubble.  The fear of having more hurt in our life is hardly tolerable. This is the only challange I think I face and am trying to resolve.  All them years since childhood I guess I built up sum defenses to protect me and it does affect relationships..   not my business.   I found alot help with therapist an all, but it is a Hard Wired in my brain and just can't seem to set myself free of this natural reaction.  I am content though and have never been happier!    I just know their is so much more out there for my life.

Well' I wish you a Blessed Holiday weekend!

Okie Fella'

from Oklahoma City

MB