Is there an escape?

By ajforever Friday, December 14, 2007

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I need to know if I am reading right!
Been trying to get a grasp on what there is to look forward to since I am relatively new to the plight of the chronic back pain sufferer. Articles I've read give me the impression that once you have this ailment, you will always have it. Is this true? Is there no hope that something can be done where there will be no back pain anymore forever? Procedures they talk about in articles say that there is pain relief for 1 to 5 years. One to five years is good but what about 20 years. I am fairly young yet but really don't cherish the idea that I will have pain that may decrease for a period and then can be back here or worse again.
This is leaving me very frustrated. Kinda hopeless. I want to live and be free---is that now just a dream. Is all I have left is the memories of times where I walked a mile and shopped for hours?
In this holiday season where I used to be very active (and still want to be), I have been faced with the fact that others view me as a person in a wheelchair or walker where there is no room for them to help prepare the big dinner or do the baking anymore. I don't want that. I want to be alive and this predicament makes me feel like I am dying.
So where is the escape and what do I do to face these awful feelings of a hasbeen?

Tis the Season for "WHAT"?

Comments (9) | Add comment

mawmawfarmer

12/14/07 4:07pm

I like you find it hard to accept the way things have turned out. I am only 47 years of age and look forward to a long life even though I will still have some problems with chronic pain. There are ways to deal with your illness. First do all the research you can get your hands on. What works for one does not work for the other. I would really like to talk with you. my email address is jfarmer@bakerdonelson.com. Please email me and I will be glad to share as would anyone on this board.

ajforever

12/15/07 3:32pm

Thanks so much for sharing with me. I really need people whom I can talk with and can relate to. It is through starting to do research that these questions have come up and the reason I found this group. Wow! what a relief it is to know that as I research I will have someone to walk through the questions with me. I am also keeping your email so we can talk more. Thanks again for being there for me.

Betty Boop Too

12/15/07 2:57am

AJforever

As I read through your post, I could hardly hold back the tears, it was only it was only 4.5 years ago, that I too was asking and wondering the very same questions. I was 40 yrs old when my chronic pain hit and I'll be 45 this coming monday.

It's really hard for any of us to tell you either way. We're not medical professionals (we do have some nurses here though) and most of us are just regular wives, mothers, sisters and friends. Each one of us are so different and we never know if some day some of us may get better and some of us may get worse, it's just one of those, God only knows sorts of things.

All of us here are at different stages in our journey through pain and each of us are individuals and although we all have chronic pain in common, it comes to each in it's different form.

You did not mention what your pain illnesses were and I checked your profile and it says spinal pain, could you elaborate a little more on it, that is if your comfortable sharing or not? if not thats fine too.

I'd like to welcome you to the CPConnection and I hope we can be of some support for you as you work through your issues and discover new ways to learn to live with your pain.

It seems most of us work through our pain using a multi-desciplinary concept toward treatments, whether at home or in an office somewhere.

Once we get a bit more familiar with your pain issues, then we all can offer some idea in working through and learning to live with the pain and still be able to do some of those things you still enjoy in life. It takes time to learn your limits and also how to learn what triggers more pain.

I wanted to let you know that there is hope, and I will be baking this weekend for the first time in five years. I also make a Turkey and thanksgiving dinner for my family a few weeks ago, and I'd of never even considered that just a year or two ago, so there is time and with patience, there is hope to still do some things you enjoy. We just have to learn how to do it.

Take care, we are all very happy that you've come to visit and feel free to write me an e-mail or Private message at any time and I'll be more than happy to help you, just a MawMaw.

Hope to see you around

Betty

ajforever

12/15/07 3:24pm

Thank you so much for being available for me!! In the next day or two I will address your questions in my journal. It might be a good thing to work through some of these hard to control feelings. I hope that someday, in time, I can be of help to you.

Betty Boop Too

12/15/07 6:54pm

Your already of help to me, afterall, you've come here and reached out to others in pain and I'm happy that you've received many responses already.

We all know about and usderstand pain, so it feels good to share with others who understand.

I've also learned a great deal from all the various stages of people here who live in pain. People like Anne, Karen & Stacy that have been living with pain for many years and then some of the rest of us, it's been under 10 years. With that wide array of experience, I've found it helpful to read there prospectives to pain and living with it too.

I hope you are having an OK low pain day and Take Care of yourself

Betty

annebeckett

12/15/07 3:28pm

I am 49 and have been dealing with chronic pain since I was 29, so, 20 years of it. And, in so far as I can tell; NO, there is no "escape", I mean, not if you want to stay on this planet...

But, there IS one thing that helps and this is your attitude. Mine is generally fairly upbeat.. was until July.. and I know it will be there (I will be there) again. heck; I am more upbeat than I was even a week ago.. so, nope; the pain (if truly chronic) will always be there. However, like I said, a LOT of what could constitute an "escape" would be PMA (positive mental attitude) and your desire to make it liveable.. something you CAN stand to live with and not pay attention to ALL Of the time.

You have kids, right? That should be a huge diversion from just pain all day and every day. I know, for me, it is! Some of (well, no; ALL of) my doctors are amazed at my general dispostion when it comes to the cr@p I have been through and am living with.

Eh? I say..., it's "laugh or die". Been my motto for most if not all of these twenty years! Take care and concentrate on the kids and other positive things around you; even nature. Go online and find jokes you find hilarious; In my case, the raunchier the better.. and the more laughing I do. Learn, mainly, to laugh at YOURSELF and the stupid things that you do because of the pain.. best advice I can give. I know it generally works for me and hope it will for you, too...

Best to you; Anne

ajforever

12/15/07 3:46pm

Thank you for responding to me. While I agree with you that "ATTITUDE" plays a big part in our daily living, it is when the attitude gets waylaid that I get in this mode. It is when I it is impossible to see the individual snow flake that I want to scream and run away.

While I have 'family' who cares alot for me, I no longer have MY FAMILY. My son, a special autistic child, and my husband, who was in chronic pain also, have both passed away. I am sure that in some way they would have been here for me if it had been in the cards. Sooo, I have to find and depend on others to help me and encourage me when I can't do it for myself.

I look forward to sharing with you more and thanks for being here for me today!

annebeckett

12/15/07 3:58pm

Hey; I am sorry for that, as i had no idea. Now, I totally get the "get under the covers and STAY there" times, too.. and, YES, that pma is very elusive at times. I get it. I was there up to a few days ago. This is why I look up funny things online and, if I can get a laugh, I find that it really does get me out from the covers..

Believe me, this past 4 and one-half months have been incredibly challanging to me. In fact, it's why I haven't been here much. For me, talking about the pain while I AM wallowing in it is one of the worst things I can do FOR ME. So, believe me; I DO get it. And, I have been searching a way out for a LONG time...

Ultimately, someone sent me a hilarious comment, describing me, on another site. This made me laugh hysterically.. to the point of tears. Why I say that this online business really can help. So can having others around who don't get it. Generally, if we tell them even SOME of it, they do, at least, to a point......

So, try whatever you know generally helps YOU. Sometimes, you need to be "selfish" in that way. It's not really selfish; is self-preservation.

Anyhow; best with it. I hope you can work your way out of it, ok? Anne

cherie

12/17/07 9:42am

Hi Aj, My name is Cherie, i am new to this site but not to chronic pain, i have had fibromyalgia since i was 27 i am 53 now, thru a divorce, second husband died, child bearing and lower back pain, it does not go away and there are days i do absolutley nothing! I stay in my pj's and dont even cook. My 3rd Hubby is great we have been married 16 yrs in april . he loves to cook so i say have at it, he leaves me alone when i need it but he doesnt let me feel sorry for myself to long, and he trys to coax me to do things even when i feel like dirt, if you have some one anyone that is close to you sit and have a conversation with them let them get to know your ups and downs when to push and when to let things alone, my kids have been great they dont live around me which is real hard i miss them so much ,but they call frequently am i make a trip to see them if and when i can as when i get there they have to take over for a few days , as i am week from the trip. i know how it feels about the low back pain, it is bad enough to live with fibro and have that on top of it , all the research doesnt give much hope past 5 to 7 yrs, But i will take that and be Bless to have it if i can get some relief. I am presently getting Radio Frequency done, they do 2 nerve blocks to see if they can go further then the actual

RF so i am sending in my pain scale this week to see if i can qualify i had the 2nd nerve block last week, Trust in God and your pain buddies on email, i sure did miss my support group but now i have found one in everyone here, DONT GIVE UP! We need to stick together! Hears hopeing you find some relief soon, Cherie

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