The Invisible Disease

Written by

Sat, September 13, 2008

My mother and I both have chronic pain. Often, I don't say much about my pain because I know that hers is so much greater, but it's with me all the time. People don't even notice that I have a problem...that I have limitations. Sometimes my arm hurts so much that I can't write or hold a paintbrush. Art is a way to express what I'm feeling. I didn't even realize the feelings I was portraying here until I looked at the completed product. Sometimes pain is invisible even to me. Sometimes I don't even notice the way it affects my life. Sometimes...I just wish the pain would get lost!

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Morgan

9/13/08 8:48pm

Great work. Thank you for sharing with us!

Wishes of good health,

Morgan

Glenda

9/15/08 9:50am

Kat,

As usualy your outstanding talent is a winner with me.! Keep up the fantastic ''stuff''

Glenda

9/15/08 9:51am

And as usual, my typing it is outstanding ~~~

9/25/08 7:37am

This is from Jo, Kathryn.I am going to surgery in a few hours.I prepared last night.But nothing prepared me for the fact that even though I am in Florida it has turned very cold.Your picture was the first thing I saw this morning.And I thought yes........that's it.That is exactly how I feel.I know when I get to that hospital that I will be freezing and that will make my muscles ache.And Kathryn not that it will help you with how you feel. I wanted to let you know that all of us feel like we are invisible to the world.No one knows when they talk to us that no maybe we cant go up the stairs or sit for hours in a movie theatre.We are all treated preety much the same way.It is rare for anyone to ask me if I feel ok for some observed reason.No one thinks I am in pain,And that is the truth so help me.First rate art work.I wish I could do that.I can write stories til the cows come home.But you have a special gift.Keep going,we will always support you. Jo

Kathryn Carver

9/25/08 10:16am

Thanks! THat means a lot. I hope your surgery goes well. I'll be prayin' for you!

9/25/08 7:59pm

Thanks for the prayers.They must have worked because so far I was treated like a human being.I wasn't given the third degree.Later when I can stand these glasses sitting on my sinuses I will really write a nice long responce.Thank-you and Morgan and everybody praying for me.There is strength in numbers.God works his mysteries to behold...........I love you all.....Jo

Lisa

10/ 3/08 5:18am

Dear Kat,

I would bet you anything thing that your pain is not invisible to your mom. And if anyone would understand it is her. You might be surprised that when you are not around you mom most likely tells others of your pain and that she is proud and strong of how you handle it the way you do, and that she sees your pain.

Do you talk with your mom about your pain? Just because she is more verbal than you does not mean that you have to be quiet, your pain is just as valid and so are you. It is not a competition of who has more pain. Having chronic pain all the time is just as hard to live with and how do you know that your pain is less than hers.

Your art, amazing. I wish i could make my pastels do what yours do. I have tried, but having no training creates a lot of "i have no idea what to do next to make it work.

You are not alone, my mom had cancer, but no pain. I know where you are coming from and you should only have to validate your pain to yourself.

Lisa

Kathryn Carver

10/ 3/08 7:38am

Thanks for your comment.

No I don't usually talk to my mom about my pain. I don't even take medicine unless it is super bad. Since I know that mom is in more pain than I, I try not to complain.

Anonymous

11/22/08 12:16am

your painting made me cry. It is exactly how I feel. Thank you for sharing!

Kathryn Carver

11/22/08 7:57am

Thanks for your comment!

I really appreciate all of the feedback.

This is actually only 4th or 5th painting; after hearing all the feedback, I am inspired to continue using this media.

Thanks a bunch!

jeisea

8/11/09 7:26am

Hi Kathryn

You are really tallented. Have you looked into your pain cause. Is it possible you have complex regional pain syndrome? No matter wgat the cause, chronic pain changes the brain. Treatments that retrain the brain are most appropriate.

Did you know September 14-20 is invisible illness awareness week in the US?

Don't suffer in silence. There is much that can be done for all who have chronic pain.

Kathryn Carver

8/11/09 7:53am

Thanks!

I'm not sure what "brain pain" is.

From what I understand my pain is caused by my tumor filling up with too much blood and swelling.

The Invisible Disease

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