Chad,

You're one of the good ones. I do PT in a Pool and hear of spouses who split at the first signs of a chronic condition, especially pain because "they must be okay because the look just fine.

I'm in a unique marriage. My wife was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1991. I was active duty Air Force and we got super care for her until I retired in 2000. I retired partially because I hit the 20 year mark and partially because I'd been having Migraine Headaches since 1991. I was also diagnosed with Peripheral Neuropathy in 2002.

I did what I could for her because she was doing fairly well and I was fighting chronic pain and working my way up in corporate America. Instead of hitting six figures in 2005 I hit the ER on November 6th. I had trouble breathing that afternoon, hit the ER and the first thing I remember after that was December 12th--I'd had a little "nap" in the interim and woke up not having to breath through my mouth or nose because a machine was doing it for me through my throat.

I'm disabled now and she does more caregiving for me than I do her. But we understand. People can't figure out why you had to skip the party down the street. Where where you at the company Christmas (sorry, I meant "Holiday Party). No I didn't I meant Christmas Party. Anyway, they don't understand your wife, and they probably don't understand you either. "Just bring her along..."

Keep fighting the good fight! Enought about me. Here's the suggestion. I've been tossing narcotics down my throat for sixteen years with unacceptable results. Mixed it with a lot of booze too--and cigars (just not since Nov 6th of '05). The squeaky wheel finally got the grease in March of this year and I had an Intrathecal Pain Pump surgically implanted. Oh yea, this is the suggestion part. It is implanted in the abdomen, a catheter is fed from it directly into the spine and pain medication is infused and bathes the spine attenuating a lot of pain impulses.

Do a search in this website on"Deb50" I happened across her posting and this website looking for information on a drug change in my pump. I gave her some information that you and your wife might be interested in. If you have a pain specialist, talk to him or her about your wife's candidacy for a pump. Deb50 went into the hospital for the trial, which is a three day process where they do a spinal tap and simulate the implanted pump with an infuser. Deb50 found out, probably the hard way, that she was alergic to morphine. There are alternative therapies which I mentioned to her.

The pumps are about the size of a hockey puck, they refill it every month or so with a hypo right through the skin and into the pump and they're supposed to be good for seven years and then the do a "remove and replace." It's given me a fair portion of my life back. I suggest you find out if your insurance will cover it. If not, shoot your resume out to companys who's insurance do and join at the first possible open enrollment period. Buy a gap insurance to cover the copays too. My monthly refills are one grand. Whatever she does recover of her life would be a great gift for her.

I hope this doesn't sound like preaching, but I do understand chronic pain. It's the gift that keeps on giving--maybe. I'm actually starting to let myself think about believing I can have a SOMEWHAT normal life, although I'll most likely never get back to work.

I hope this helps,

Rick