Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Lessened by one ....

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Adrian Serra

Adrian Serra

Sun, October 12, 2008

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Hello - I love this quote by Earnest Hemingway, a great storyteller , who like we here, suffered from depression ... I want to share it with you .. and in memory to a fellow CPer , who decided she could no longer stay here with us .... to Carla ...

 

"No man is an island, entire of itself; Every man and woman is apiece of the continent, aprt of the main: If a clod should be washed away by the sea, the world is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own family were; Any man or woman's death diminishes me, because I am involved with mankind, and therefore never send to to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee"

 

My prayers to her friends , who were there for her and could not help ; and to the doctors who turned her away , as they only diminsihed this world one less ...

 

Today is my "no thinking day" , the Lords' day , and when I received word , my heart turned somber, and if one person can find comfort here , I know I have .. so take care my friends .. and thank you , for being there when I get to feeling "blue" ... adrian

Anonymous
Doug
10/14/08 10:05pm

I happened to be passing through, researching a paper on percocet, when i saw your post. i haven't heard that saying since i was a freshman in high school a few decades ago, strange how life works... the quote never meant much to me till now.. one of my best friends past earlier this year from a mixture of drugs, percocet being the one that did the most damage, shutting down his organs and kidneys, causing multiple heart attacks. he was a tremendous soul, one that never realised how much he meant to us all... no man is and island and we should strive to remember that as alone as we may feel, there are others out there, somewhere, suffering as we do... may that grant us comfort... and hope.  

10/14/08 10:20pm

Doug - yes , the randomness of life .. I have carried that around for decades .. it most certainly has meaning .. so did your friend .. sorry for your loss .. agserra

10/16/08 12:48pm

Adriann that was a beautiful story.I used to read atleast one book a week when I was younger.It was the one extravegence I payed for money wise.I love the book by Drs Seuss".Oh The Places You'll Go By" There is a passage in it that is on the movie Fracture with Anthony Quinn.I have never actually read the book.I can no longer hold one that long.But I wish I could get the part that says where we all in up in the waiting place.A most uselsss place.Where people just wait.Waiting for a bus to come or a plane to go or a letter to come or a yes or a no.Isn't it strange we think that these wonderfully gifted people like Hemmingway whom by the way I have always loved.But he did in the end committ suicide.Living in Fl. I think that there is more interest in him and his life works.I think I understand why he did it.He traveled his whole life writing and enjoying life.He must have experienced things we only dream of.I know I will not be able to travel around the world to see sites I only dream of.I think the reason he did it was because he was finished with the writing.Nothing to inspire him at this late date in his life.And that is my point.When you can no longer do the thing that made you who you are.I feel like why would the world miss me.I cannot do anything anymore.Just suck the life from my family and close friends.And especially my wonderful husband.I think I am going through some real black hole feelings lately and I wanted to tell you that your list was inspiring and beautiful.I think you have a handle on your life right now.And yes there have been times when I was out and about even though I hurt.But those people are too sick to even visit.I hope I can get to where you are soon.Thank you so much for Whom the Bells Toll.Don't we all know they toll for us.Much love and feel good days from Jo

10/16/08 1:10pm

Hello Jo - while Hemingways' ended in what most deem a tragedy , it was .. we lost a person with deep convictions, and a love so much big .. but we need to learn from him .. and sadly his grand-niece , who also had such a sad view of people and life ..

 

So, when I read this it is to inspire me  to keep going, that if I were to disappear tomorrow , it would impact people , and I want more than that .. I want to be able to share and educate ..

 

Yes, I have my bouts , but I don't drink or do illicit drugs that only propel you further downward .. so even if I am who I am, and feel what I feel , it is okay .. in these words I found some comfort .. it has a dual meaning , and for me it is inspiration, as I said to keep the course , and from another quote , and I will let you all figure this out .. "I will not go gently , into that good night" ... peace - agserra

10/16/08 8:09pm

Thank you for sharing,You know I have never been a drinker.And I am not quite sure what you meant by illicit drugs.You seem to know about Hemmingways great niece is that right??? I think we both are literary people.Books have always been my escape too.Sometimes since we cannot hear the voice or see each others expression.Maybe we misinterprate the meaning.I hope I have not said anything to upset or mislead you.I find your post an inspiration for me.I find that Betty and Morgan have so much courage.I like this site.I have found friends,help,someone who will listen when all your friends and family let you down.But I really enjoy talking to you a great deal and hope I wasn't out of line with anything I said.I am going through a lot right now.And sometimes when you are going through too much it just spins you out of control.I hope you think of me as a friend.I love your picture.I have been hesitant about putting my picture in but I think now I will so everybody can put a face with the voice.I just got some great news.I am going to be a great grandmother.My daughter is 39 and she will be 40 when she turns into a grandmother.I was 36 when I became one.Well the good news is it is a girl.My daughter just called me and said how come you are always right.You always know what it is going to be.She was so excited.We usually have mostly girls from my generation.Now I have 4 grandsons and 3 granddaughters.I was at Bealls yesterday and they had a great 20% off what was already marked down to 40% off.I looked at the new borns Christmas dresses.And I always bought my older grandchildrens Easter and Chriistmas clothes.At that time my girls were new mothers and couldn't afford those expensive Christmas dresses.It gave me so much pleasure to be able to buy them for them and each Easter and Christmas I got my present and it was only what they could afford.A picture of my grand children framed in the clothes I bought.They never knew that they couldn't have given me anything I would have loved more.So now the next generation is starting their families and I hope that my old traditions will be started again anew.Today has been a good day for me.Take care and keep me updated.Thanks so much for caring....Jo

10/16/08 8:45pm

Jo - i wasn't slighted at all .. so let's just start again .. thank you for sharing with me .. and I am not an avid reader , my father was and would tell me the books he had read , and my ineterest in hemingway was because he was a curious person, an observer of people , like me ...

 

i hope i am not dissapointing you with that , but just being honest .. my writing comes from my heart , and when i do , it sets something in me free .. i am aphilospher my nature , and observing people , how they act in certain situations , and who they are .. my friends call me "mother" , as i am usually the one who has the right words at the right time ..

 

but i am genuine, when i write , i can express what it is i feel inside , and somehow that comforts me .. always did , one class i was good at ..

 

it is wonderful that you have a new granddaughter , i have 8 neices and nephews , though they don't keep in touch , as i sorta gave up sending emails .. have three brothers , two of whom i no longer write to either .. and  the one who does reply , well, he and used to never get along .. as we are 3 years apart in age, i being older , we came to the conclusion that together we are the middle child , of sorts ...

 

he also is artistic , in that we both love to sketch, play guitar and seem to be the "dreamers" of the 4 .. although my life took a totally different path than his for may years , he is now the closest ..

 

it is hard to explain ... but i hope you stay in touch , i am thinking we can email on this site , or if you like , just continue talking here ..

 

i have been blue a bit, and it is something i plan to share in a post .. as you may know , companions sometimes are good for your soul, and my two dogs , are going to be the subject ..

 

again, i am here , and not going anywhere anytime soon .. as i have many here who care about me , and so i take it one day at a time ..

 

thanks again .. adrian 

10/17/08 8:01am

Oh good Adrian,I am told that I sometimes tend to over explain myself.So you are not the first to notice this about me.I didn't know you had a big family.How old are you.Do you have children? It sounds to me you and I have in common a love for our fathers.Or you could say share the same interest.I am a people person.I love to hug people and sometimes I think it freaks them out a little.But I am a very funny person.Always called the class clown.I also have had 3 daughters who are grown up and have their own families.I have been married 3 times.And the third time was a charm.Bobby and I have been married 25 years.I am about 8 years older than he is.He was adopted and his mother taught him to respect women and to help all women.He has a sister who was adopted also but not from the same family.He has helped me finish raising my girls and he became a grandfather when he was 28 and I was 36.So peoples' eyes got real wide when he pulled out pictures of his grand daughter.I guess since adoption to him is the norm,he really feels like they are 'our' daughters.And my children call him Papa.He has been the father in their life.The other 2 were disasters.They just seemed to be able to walk away from them.I don't know how a person can do that.But they did.I guess all my life I have always looked for the good in people.And a lot of times I think people used me.I hate confrontations.So I would just led things slide.I also try to be a mother to the younger girls like Morgan.What a wonderful girl.She has so much love to give and so much compassion.I love talking to her.I also was the girls work mom at Mayo so we do have that in common too.My computer has been acting up and I tried to upload some pictures but only succesfully got a picture of Raven who is 6 in her bathing suit.But I like your picture.I guess at first I was hesitant to reveal myself.You can never be too careful I think.I was scared the first few days I joined.I thought oh my I have just spilled my guts on a web site.But then I realized that we all have the same problems and the same things seem to bother all of us.Such as being judged for taking meds so we can have atleast some quality of life.I have been writing to dockside for over an hour and my neck is saying go lay down.But I really wanted to clear the air too.I have been told I talk too much.I thought maybe I might have said something wrong.I am glad that is not the case at all.Maybe because I have a sister and a daughter who are constantly putting me down I am on the defensive.But I won't be from now on.I will be blessed with you as a friend.We can talk about anything.I talk to the lady in the grocery store or where ever I go I seem to find someone who is lonely too and would love to have a nice conversation.We are a select group of people who have found each other.I am hoping that they come up with some miracle that will help us.I have Myofascail Pn Syndrome,Fibro,Chronic Sinusitis,8 herniated disc,Spinal Stenosis,Severe Sleep Apnea,Arthritic Knees,IBS,TMJ,I had breast implants when I was about 21 and I had problems with them from the beginning so the last surgery I had was to remove them.I used to have very long black hair,which I had to cut because I couldn't hold my arms up long enough to blow it dry.So now I wear it very short.And I have all over pain in my body.I have been in the hospital about 10 times since January.My most recent was Sept 25th for sinus surgery.I had these dental implants put in and they have given me nothing but problems.They were supposed to put an end to all of these oral surgeries which now numbers #29.They became infected and I continually told the oral surgeon they were.He said they were not.I went to 3 ent's before I found one who had the common sense to see that I did and she did cultures and found I had yeast and staph infection.So I am waiting to see her to see what is our next move.I need reconstructive surgery because I have practically no bone left in my maxible and mandable.But I seem to have a low immune system and am prone to infection.She said lets get the infection under control first.I love her.She did the surgery at Shands Jax.and I knew when I woke up that it was a success because I didn't have that nasty taste in my mouth anymore.So there you go.Those are my medical problems.How about you? What is the thing that bothers you the most?I can't wait to hear from you again.Lets keep in touch.Wishing you a great day today.I feel better already.Just talking to people helps me a lot.I tend to over react when my children or grand children get sick.But my oldest is a nurse and she always calms me down.Thanks Adrain for being there for me.I hope I can do the same for you.Where do you live.I mean just which state? I live in Jax.Fl.So we always have hot weather but I was born here and I love the hot.I wish I could move farther south as the cold seems to hurt me.Well my husband is up and we get to spend so little time together.He is a builder.His father helped build most of Arlington which is a subdivision of Jax.He works 6 days a week and usually atleast 12 hour days.So ta ta for now catch you on the flip flop.Jo

Anonymous
Anonymous
10/18/08 2:18pm

John Donne, Meditation XVII: No Man Is An Island

When i saw this quote, I knew it immediately.  In the early 1960's (yes, I really AM older than dirt! as my kids like to say), while in high school choir, we sang a song entitled 'No Man Is An Island'.  Very neat quote; other favorites of mine I live by:

 

""I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again""----Stephen Grellet

 

"Let no man write my epitaph....Let my character and motives repose in obscurity and peace, till other times and other men can do them justice."
-Robert Emmet, 1803

 

 

 

10/18/08 4:01pm

Hello Anonymus - wow, these are awesome .. thank you so much .. will need to print these up for myself and share with others ..

 

How are you feeling, last we spoke you were feeling okay , hope all is well and we meet again .. agserra

10/30/08 5:15pm

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend, Carla.  It is difficult to say good-bey to anyone we love, and it is even more painful when that person has left us out of despair and depression.  I am sure your friendship was comforting to her at some level. I guess we never really understand what makes one person take such drastic action in dealing with their emotions.

 

One thing your quote points out is that we are not isolated in this life and whatever action we do take, large or small, has some impact on those around us, even if we never realize it.  

 

Thanks for sharing with us.

 

Anonymous
Melissa F.
12/29/08 9:46pm

That was Beautiful.  I am sorry about your Friend and, as it was said ".... parts of the same continent..", I cry for You, Her, and my Friend Amy as well.  I'm a CPer too, as you called it. I try to find calm in my heart, to put calm in my heart, because I need that type of peace.  As you probably may know, it isn't easy.  I felt less alone after reading your comment.  Bless You, and Thanks.

2/ 5/09 7:45am

Thanks, Adrian.  That was a sober yet enlightening way to begin my day.  God bless you and yours, and good-bye, Carla...rest in peace.

 

Holly

8/26/10 12:21pm

That was a very beautiful tribute and I hope encouraging to others that feel that one more day is just too much to bare. God answers prayers, not in our time but His. If we are obedient and do the best we can to serve and love others, He will honor our prayers. Our earthly bodies will become heavenly bodies one day, but it is not for us to choose that time. Our trials here on earth teach us to rely solely on God...not doctors. Once we truly understand that, He will take us through those trials, and then we need to teach others what we have learned, helping them to do the same. I too, suffer much pain with Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and a degenerative spine. I have been weening myself off the oxycontin and I'm on the last month of it. I am putting more trust in Jesus, and taking alternative measures like accupuncture, massage therapy, stretching exercises, and putting my focus on others instead of myself. It is a day to day way of life, but it gives me something to live for and look forward to. There still are days that I just lay around and do nothing, but everyday is a new day. Thanks for letting me share my two sense. Patricia

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