So the realization that it was my own desire to be somewhere else , to be on my own nearer to friends and family .. to be back in Florida , that I kept focusing on so hard on that issue , it was holding me back from breathing ..
I know it sounds confusing, but what I need and what I want are two different things now .. I can see that .. so my needs have to come first .. and so undertaking a change of address for all purposes , is now something I must do, undertaking finding a good vet for my dogs, finding a good doctor for myself , registering the Jeep and on and on ..
Prioritizing became blurred , so now instead of reacting to the issues , I will prioritize them and live them , live in the here and now and not worry about the future and my wants or desires of being elsewhere ..
I will allow myself to build a life here , and not repeat what I had been doing in NM , shutting myself away , hiding from life .. and it can be draining .. yet , as I am going along , it is normal to feel overwhelmed , it is normal to feel anxious ..
For anyone to undertake a move, a lifestyle change , it is difficult .. for people like us , it seems at times insurmountable .. and I just want to say that it isn't .. that we can move on , that we can rebuild a life , that we are the same as anyone else but with a better appreciation for life itself ..
We don't take things for granted, we smile when we meet people and we show our courage everyday .. while most people don't even know what we face , we do .. I do ! So I know , and I smile as I achieve one goal at a time on this path to a new life , a better lifestyle and become me once again ..
That is a good feeling .. so when we think that things are tough , they are .. when we step back and reach out and unjumble our thoughts , we can then see the future , one day at a time .... agserra
The small stuff can sometimes be the most overwhelming. I'm fortunately not prone to anxiety or panic attacks but perhaps I can relate as a person who has chronic illness and frequently is overwhelmed by the demands of her life.
The first priority for me is to keep things in perspective. When I am moaning about how many things I am unable to do, I try to remember what it was like not to have anything at all, when a combination of events and illness left me literally homeless and living in a tent in So. Cal campgrounds. I start a gratitude list in my head of all the wonderful things I have in my life today, like a roof over my head, a warm and comfortable bed, food to eat, a vehicle to drive. Focusing on this positive list, which I could add to all day, keeps me in a positive place. There are many right now who go without even the basics of life. Imagine being one of them if you need to find a place to start your gratitude list.
Another technique I use is to focus on small goals and leave the big picture alone. Sure, I have a ton of things waiting for me to do. It seems I can never have all aspects of my life under control. If I focus on the business, the house goes to hell, etc. I am incapable of leading a so called normal life. So I do what I can, each and every day, to the best of that days ability, and let the rest go. Sometimes I let the house and the business go in order to spend a little time on social or pleasure events with my spouse, so he does not feel isolated because of me.
Chronic pain and illness can leave us without a social structure, focused on ourselves. I have found that doing some volunteer work can be a life saver. It means getting out of myself and thinking about someone else, doing for someone else. It reminds me there are many less fortunate than I, many who cannot do even the simple tasks I am capable of. So I find a way, either through a church or the local newspaper, to get involved in my community in a small way. It might mean helping to serve at a food bank or shelter, making phone calls for a candidate, visiting shut ins, etcetera.
Maybe the best decision I ever made was adopting a puppy from a shelter. When life gets hard and I'm stuck in my bed or the cabin, she is my lifesaver. She always knows when I am down and sticks to me like glue. Taking care of her needs helps me be healthier and more active. Holding her close lowers my blood pressure. And talk about unconditional love! Even my sweet spouse can't beat her there!
Living with chronic pain and illness is never easy. But with this a network like this we are able to share burdens and ease each others suffering, share wisdom and experience, keeping lines of communication open for when we need them the most.
Thanks for the topic, Adrian, and keep making positive steps forward in your new home.
Christine
Thank you Co mtnmama .. I can relate to that .. and it is nice to have someone shre their experience with .. adrian