Calmed down

Well, now that my pain has seemed to calm down I am better able to focus on getting my life back on track .. I have plans to go out this Weds. night .. me ?

Yupp, out and about , a rare , vary rare thing for me .. part of my ongoing therapy is to try to do something fun (outside of doing the gardening) , so I have a Classic Car cruise-in that I am going to go to ..

I am a huge enthusiast and have owned several different mid-year muscle cars .. so this is both an opportunity to stretch not only my muscles , but meet people .. not sure if I have written this , but since having all my health issues my personal life had become pretty nill ..

So, I also have anxiety/panic issues , amongst depression and PTSD .. Lord knows how many initials .. some of this is come from the MS helping exagerate or exploit them .. others came from outside issues that came into my life, ie divorce, losing my Dad , etc ...

Having that kind of personality that "guilt" from not working, holding my own etc .. played some pretty rough games on my sel esteem .. so I became vulnerable to these issues .. some I have had for a while ..

So in my journey I am learning to love me , accept me and now reward me .. having a good therapist helps .. learning to move past the pain, the anxiety and enjoy people once more .. funny considering most of my jobs had been dealing with the public and people ..

A problem solver , a people person .. so she is in there , just lost .. now it is time to find her once more .. it is , for me, a huge step .. getting out and meeting people on a social basis .. and I am looking foward to it ..

I also firmed up plans to move to Arizona .. Yes, Arizona .. sooner than later I knew that this life here would quickly become a problem for me .. there are personal family issues that I deal with on the Anxiety site ....

These issues prohibit me from my personal growth .. and can create an issue for my brother , with whom I am staying ... so I have made plans to move to where I have often said , the climate is great and I have a very good friend and family there ..

This is happening soon, Feb. 25th .. so I have some packing, but not much and well, that is for another post ... back to my pain issues and how I am handling them ..

I not only have pain, but I get severe numbness and tingling .. people call it RLS or many other things .. this not only happens in my lower extremities , but also in my upper .. with MS , I have developed "finger curl" .. sorta like a person with rheumatiod arthritis , but not .. it is not my joints folks, it is all muscles ..

This is why excersize has been a big part of my life in the last 8 years now .. and I try to use them as much as possible .. even now as I sit and type , my pinky fingers are curling into little arches ..

The weird thing I found out these last few months is that , oh yes , I am in that "good pain" stage , but usually it hits when I stop .. and then comes on like a good South Florida thunderstorm .. pounding and throbbing .. it comes especially hard not that day , but two or three days later ..