While I muddle through each as best I can , I usually do not speak so much of my physical pain or issues .. my only focus of late is getting where I can be me , and getting my butt to a good doctor .. I have thought that maybe I have had a relapse , I try not to think it , as I have had only one in the past 7 1/2 years ..

But I do believe it is a flare-up of my MS .. not fibro .. as I sit and write this , I must confess that in my heart I know it is ..

There is not much one can do .. when you get inflammed like this all that you can do is rest , hahaha , and realx , hohoho , and pray it only lasts a short time ..

The last flare lasted a bout a year .. it took me six months to get the nerve up to go to a neuro and have an MRI , as my coverage only pays 80% .. and anyone who has had one knows just about how much they cost ..

Wow , that felt good to get off my chest .. and this is the wonders of MS , there literally is nothing I can do .. oh , I could go to a hospital ER , but who would watch my babies ?

Putting them in the hands of strangers , putting myself in that position is a risk in itself .. so I try not to focus on this .. but after I get to telling my bro about my plans , I will talk with my therapist in depth about it ..

Not anything really anyone can do .. no surgery, just an IV or something and I would rather move than do that , at this point ..

I do hope that you all just take deep breathes , pain or no , confusion or not and just breath ... in therapy you can make an "I" statement .. this is mine today ...

Even though I am in pain, and even though I am hurting , I care deeply about myself and love myself and accept myself for who I am" .. and breath .. as I sit and repeat my mantra for the day , each day it may change .. I find it can calm me, soothe me and part of me is happy that I have this place and my "family" here , that I can turn to ..

Peace people, be glad for what you do have today , okay ? me

1LIFE2LIVE