For several years, I have been an osteoarthritis sufferer. In January 2006, I had to take medical leave because I could no longer withstand the severe back pain that went into my hip and leg. Prior to that, for 9 months, I had to take 10/325 Vicodin just to be able to work. After going on medical leave, the tests began. First, an MRI that revealed some damage in the lumbar area, herinated discs and pinched nerves (this accounted for the hip and leg pain). The spine surgeon first tried to give me steroid injections into the area, but it did no good. So he sent me to get a discogram, and that's were the real damage was revealed. I had four bad lumbar discs, so bad that the doctor who done the test was amased that I worked 60 to 72 hours a week with my condition. So in May 2006, I underwent a four level lumbar fusion that involved cutting into my back and abdomen, placing bone graphs from a cadaver into me, along with 20 pounds of rods, cages, screws, nuts and bolts to hold it all together. I thought that I was going to be free of my pain at last. I was free of the pain that I had pre-operative, but the post-operative pain was a living hell for at least a year. I was taking 80mg oxycontin every 6 hours, along with 10/325 Percocet every four hours as needed. In 6 months time, the medicine was no longer doing the job, so my doctor placed me on Opana ER 40mg every 8 hours, along with the 10mg quick release Opana every 4 hours. This stablized the pain fairly well, and I didn't build tolerance as fast. This went on for 1 and a half years, then as my Cobra insurance was running out, my doctor gave me 90 days supplies of both Opanas. Then, with two weeks remaining on my insurance, he switched me to two 10mg methadone tablets every 8 hours and oxycodone 15mg (without the tylenol) every 4 hours so I wouldn't run out of meds before my medicare started. So I had a five month supply of medicine when my insurance ran out. About a month before I was to run out of medicine, I was approved for SSDI and in no time, I had my back pay and medicare card. That was in September 2008. Today, I still live in some pain, but not as bad. I take 10mg methadone every 6 hours and 15mg oxycodone every 4 hours. But also, the osteoarthritis has spread to my hips and getting out of bed can be a challenge at times. When this disease brought me down, I was 43 years old and active. Now I'm 47 and homebound. My friends are now on the internet, as I cannot have the life that I once had. This is my escape now, my computer(s), and I've made a few friends along the way. I've been reading Karen's articles for a year now, and if you see this post, Karen, I thank you for bringing us all together and making our lives more managable. And to all of those whose posts I read on a daily basis, even though we may be physically far apart, I love you all. Living in pain is no piece of cake. Living on drugs is no paradise, as some would put it. Living in days at times wishing that there would be no tomorrow goes through my head sometimes, although I would never, ever do harm to myself. Living in pain and through the tears can put thoughts through your head that you otherwise wouldn't think. All of my former friends have left me behind, the only time anyone comes over, it's usually my stepson, wanting money from his mother. It does me no good to say anything, all it causes is an argument, so for the most part, I keep my mouth shut. Even my upbringing was rough, my dad (or if the truth is said, my sperm donor) beat the hell out of me and my mother on a regular basis for nothing. It still haunts me to this day. Since 2004, I've been taking alprazolam (Xanax) for anxiety and post trauma disorder. And the worst, my wife of nearly 22 years, 18 at the time, came out and admitted that she cheated on me when we had yet to be married a year. That was in 2007, the infidelities occured in 1988, the year of our marriage. She had two young children at the time, and I was working two jobs and later on when I found better work, I worked 60 to 72 hours a week for 15 or so years. I've been through a lot in my days, but that, I will never overcome. I will never forget. The only reason I stayed was I was sick, had no income and knew no other life than to be either be abused, living in fear, living in pain and being screwed around. We're still married, but all I do is live here. And I guess that's about it as far as my response to the topic. Karen, I didn't mean to get off topic, it started with medicines, I strayed far off, without a doubt. If you want to trash my post, go ahead. I'll still read your column every day.