"Though He slay me..."

I have had no formal training in art. I have however, had formal and informal training in Pain, Agony and Despair. I am almost certain in the throws of my pain I have glimpsed hell herself lick her lips in delight at the torment of my soul. Doctors didn't help much either- 

It took me literally, twenty years, a huge leap of faith, and a trip across the entire continent of North America to get a proper diagnosis for my pain. And what did the doctors tell me for those intervening twenty years? It was all in my head~

There now, let's all scream together. 

Luckily, for me I have a firm backbone of faith and it is with this thought that the above sketch was done- with Job's words in mind - "Though He slay me, yet will I praise Him."

Even though my body had betrayed me, somehow I knew that my God had not.

Oftentimes, as the painting below depicts, I feel naked- exposed, shamed and lost. All the world seems a bleak, fathomless abyss about me. Drawing and painting help me to work through the layers of feelings, to sort through the past pains and the here and now and to give voice to things that are simply just- too deep for words.

I am so thankful for hands that will still work for me to create something meaningful out of so many pain-filled days.

From somewhere over the rainbow,

zoe ashcraft