DON'T BE SURPRIZED BY THIS. IT TOOK ME 7 YEARS TO GET MY SSD. BTW-SSD ISN'T SSI, IT IS VERY DIFFERENT. I ASSUME YOU MEANT SSD. YOU DO NEED A LAWYER FOR THIS AND WORKMANS COMP. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE FOR BOTH, YOU'LL BE SCREWED. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING, WE DON'T, SO BE SURE TO HEED MY WARNING.  YOU GET BACK PAY IF YOU WIN, TO 6 MO BEFORE YOU 1ST FILED. GOOD LUCK, DONNA

Zoe,

I read with great interest all of your posts to date to try and understand a little about you and what you are going through with your pain.

I am assuming that you are meaning SSD (social security disability) when you speak of SSI.  As we know, this is a tangled mess of bureaucratic non-sense that nobody should be going through that is disabled.  SSD was put in place just for people like you and it is your right to have it. 

If you haven't already done so, I would suggest that you contact your elected officials including President Obama and let them know what the broken down system is forcing you to deal with in addition to all of your medical problems that you didn't ask for.

I know all that you talk about with pain all too well, she comes to me every day even though I wish she might take a vacation once in awhile.  The isolation that we feel is very real, I think it is difficult for others to understand what we feel because most haven't experienced it and most don't want to hear about our pain because they always keep running in the back of their head "what if it were me, how would I deal with this kind of pain or could I)?

You write very well, that is something that you possess along with your faith and those things cannot be taken away from you.

I am reaching out to you and giving you a big tight hug, letting you know that I do understand.  I just wish there was something that I could offer you Zoe that would actually help you to alleviate your pain but I can wish all I want and not be very successful.

I hope to be able to talk to you more, you are quite a courageous woman to say the least and you are very interesting and I don't find people of your calibur that often.  Though a strange place to meet someone, I feel honored that I have been able to learn about you and to share our mutual place where we exist that we call pain.

Take care Zoe and I wish you the very best, my thoughs and prayers are with you and I hope that you can get some help soon with SSD and can find a way to alleviate your pain as much as possible.

Randy.

zoe ashcraft

3/19/09 10:23pm

Randy, 

 

How wonderful to meet you~ thank you for the kind words.

 

Unfortunately, I can not get SSD- because I opted not to work outside of the home, but to stay home and homeschool those two beautiful girls in the photo with me.  I never realized I'd be needing anything from the goverment!

 

If I could get SSDI I could also get MediCare- which would mean I could get the surgeries I need. As it is, I have written another letter as of yesterday asking for a charity surgery since without it I will eventually be permanantly disabled. (Tethered Cord does that to you) It's a tough one though- a new surgery, a highly debated diagnosis- I don't know how I managed to score on "rare" conditions- but I've got a slew of them~ 

 

However, even SSI would mean my family could have food more regularly avalible, and clothes- and we wouldn't need to lean on our parents so much. 

 

(Maybe I'm misunderstanding you- SSD may not be the same thing as SSDI~ and maybe I really do mean SSD. haha.  - afterall, I aM BLOND* 

 

In any case, whatever it is, I know the lawyer will help me. And more than that, God will- He always does. And you're positively right about the fact that no one can take my gifts from me. Creative outlets are food and life to my soul* 

 

So, what about you Randy? 

 

Dancing in the rain, 

zoe 

You can get Social Security for a "mental" disorder easier than you can for a physical handicap, can't see our handicap so it is not there?

(not trying to be funny, but they seem to take mental instability more serious, could that be because they are afraid that with the mental aspect of it, that person could "lose it" "go off the deep end" "HURT SOMEONE ELSE"  if forced to work for a living and not be able to afford the medications to stay "stable"???????????

For my chronic pain, (degenerative disc disease, surgery X3 (2 on same disc))

they could not see the pain, they could not understand that I can do most anything for a few seconds, maybe even 10 minutes, BUT... where are they at night after they made me "perform" for them? Where are they when I am sitting up all night with pain ripping through my back and feeling like spiders are crawling inside my leg and then the "spiders" legs turn into metal pins trying to escape my leg....  Oh yeah..... they are SLEEPING comfortably in their beds waiting for morning to see who else they can "try to destroy" because you do not "QUITE" fall into the GUIDELINES that NO DOUBT were set by people who probably never even had a toothache.

Yes, I am still MAD, I waited 3 years and THEN I got it for the fact that I was on depression medicine for so long, (started them before I had my first surgery in 89)  SO......  I did not even get VALIDATION for my disability, I received validation for clinical depression.  I have now had SSI and SSD for 9 years, things have not gotten better with the system.

You NEED a lawyer after your FIRST denial, the lawyers work for free and when it is time for your settlement they get a percentage and it seems that when they are working for you and they will not get paid unless you do, they work harder.

HANG IN THERE.... it is depressing and the system will most likely stay the same so just get your lawyer, do what you have to do, and if you are rewarded for mental and not physical, take it with a grain of salt.

It is the people who love you and that are there for you when you are in pain that matter, not the people who decide guidelines.

zoe ashcraft

3/20/09 11:33am

Thanks, 

 

Yeah, the Mental- funny thing is- I was approved three different 3x I think on the basis of my Dissociative Identity Disorder- didn't get the SSI because my dad had my name on a trust fund- and for 12 days out of the year I Could have gotten the money there- (I had promised not to) 

 

And now, they act like it's not even as issue. hahaha. hahahaha. I knew I should have let one of my altars take over during that horrid SSI psychological eval.  - now THAT would have raised some hairs. 

 

thanks for the encouragement and the laugh* 

zoe