the loneliness of chronic pain and addiction is a very lonely place to live!

By debbie Saturday, March 06, 2010

- A
- A
- A

i feel so alone in this battle that is all-comsuming. i am afraid,i am lonely and this seems to have become a batlle that i am facing within!my pain consumes my every waking moment and my tolerance to narcotics is at a lethal level. like i previously posted im not even sure how much of this is chronic pain or my addiction to the pain pills? once i switched from vicoden to oxycodone i was litterally shocked at how fast my tolerance to them went off the charts! so now i've started snorting the oxcys cuz it hits my bloodstream immediatly! they say though that the dangers of snorting them or chewing them makes the time release go away. they also say that when you have compromised lung conditions like copd your chances go up by 75% for respitory failure. one would think that stopping would be vital but it seems like its making no difference to me? so i am continuing to play this russion rulette with my life??????? i am contemplating medical detox and going to a chronic pain-chemically dependance facility,this whole concept scares me to as i don't think i can tolerate my chronic pain without meds! so confused

HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frustrated, stuck in the circle of "i don't know what your problem is"

Comments (4) | Add comment

MillieKeyLargo

3/ 6/10 5:07pm

I can understand been in pain and having a high tolerance to pain medications, I have both of those issues, but the one thing that I can not understand is snoring, or chewing or doing anything with my medications that could harm me or my relationship with my pain management Doctor in any way, shape or form.

I am in intractable pain and I know that I need my meds, why would I want to jeopardize my ability to receive these medications by using them the incorrect way? Aren't you afraid of what you are doing to yourself? If you got a high tolerance to your current meds, have you talked to your Doc about either switching you to a different medication or increasing the dosage that you are currently on? What about an Intrathecal Pain Pump? The pump will take care of your pain and you will not have to worry about you misusing the meds. Have you given that a thought???

What you are doing is very dangerous, and one of the reasons that us people in chronic and/or intractable pain get looked at like addicts and freaks by some in the medical community. If you can not be honest with your Doctor about how this medications are not taking your pain away, then you need to switch Doctor's and go see one that you can feel comfortable enough to tell him how you feel.

It is lonely to be in pain, I know, I am there, and to make it even lonelier, I live alone! But I have a great Doctor that knows how high my tolerance to pain meds is, and he has changed my meds 6 different times in 2 years. But of course, I have to tell him, he needs to know from me how these meds are working or if they are not, that is what a good Doctor/patient relationship is about...... and for what you are saying, you don't have that relationship with your current Doc. I am sorry that you are going through so much right now, but you need to get some help. You need to get your opiod usage under control, what you are doing right now could kill you, and I am sure that you do not want to happen, is time to ask for help.

Take care and good luck with your journey,

Millie

time to quit the drugs!

3/ 7/10 12:05am

It sounds like you've blown the ability to be trusted with your SC2 narcotics so its time for you to get off of them! I was at lethel doses as well and was ready to put a gun at my spine and pull the trigger. I would have rather been a parapalegic than been at the level of pain I was in. I had lost interest in everything. Work, my wife, my animals, I dont have kids, my hobbies but I never abused the dosage or route I was taking. Finally I found a Pain Mgt Doc that was more interested in a solution that passing out scripts for meds and for that I love her dearly! she weaned me off all the dope...26 years without a break of morphine, oxydose, oxycontin, fentanyl, opium, methadone, it all hit the ceiling and stopped working, so I got off it with out detox centers, just true grit and hating life for 6 weeks, but i got off em, then got a medtronics interthecal pain pump implanted in my back...BEST THING IN 26 years! Try to get off the meds. Its mind over matter. Dont use a crutch, BITE THE BULLET! You CAN do it. If I can do it, anybody can! I was on that stuff for 26 years, no relief and now Im drug and almost 100% pain free. When on the oral and pathces, I was experiencing pain on a 7-10 scale, now its 1-4 depending on my activity. I've found a reason to live again. Good luck!

Mama Coop

3/ 7/10 1:06pm

I don't know if this will be helpful to you, but just this week my doctor had me try a sample Flexor Pain Patch for my back. I was EXTREMELY doubtful, but I am amazed at how it actually is working for me. It is beginning to transform my life already. Not that I don't still want the momentary high from the Vicodin pills, but the pain really is gone while I'm wearing one. Take care and stay strong, lean on Jesus, ask him to guide you through this, he won't leave you.

Karen Lee Richards, Health Guide

3/ 9/10 2:58am

Hi Debbie – Welcome to ChronicPainConnection! I'm so glad you're here and hope we can give you some of the support and encouragement you need to help you get through this.

There are a couple of things I'd really like you to take a look at before you do anything else. The first is an article called Opioids: Addiction vs. Dependence . You talk about being addicted. Of course, I can say for sure, but there's a good chance your problem is actually not getting adequate treatment for your pain rather than addiction. Yes, anyone who has to take opioids regularly will become physically dependent on them, but that is very different than addiction. Please read the article to help you get a clearer picture of just what is happening to you.

Secondly, I'd like you to look at a couple of videos about the intrathecal pain pump . A couple of other people here mentioned the pump to you, too. The pain pump is an implanted device that feeds medication (usually morphine) directly into the spine. Because it doesn't have to go through the digestive system, you can get much better pain relief with only a small fraction of the amount of medication. And it provides round-the-clock relief. You might give serious thought to discussing it with your doctor.

As Millie said, if your doctor isn't willing to give you the medication you need to get adequate pain relief, you probably need to find another doctor. Even if you stick with the oral meds, there are lots of options beyond oxycodone. Your doctor needs to work with you to find the type of medication and dosage that works best for you.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. – Karen

the loneliness of chronic pain and addiction is a very lonely place to live!

Ask a Question