My journey through Pregnancy ....and Chronic Pain

I have been journaling some of my experiences over the past year, so thought I'd share a few things...

One of the most common topics among women my age is starting a family. However, for those women in chronic pain the question isn’t always “when,” it’s “how” and even “if”. Can we do it? How will we do it? Will our bodies allow? If I’m pregnant, can I take medications? Do women in chronic pain have healthy babies? If so, how can I reach out to them? I asked myself all of these questions not too long ago. I knew that once I got married I wanted to have a baby. Then reality sank in. I have chronic pain, I take medication to function, I work full time, etc. etc. How will I do this without hurting myself or my baby? <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" ?>

I started to research what medications I could take while pregnant because let’s be honest, if we can be comfortable (not to mention functioning) AND have a safe pregnancy, that would be ideal right? Well, I quickly found out two things. First, that most women do not offer up their bodies to science while pregnant, so therefore most medications have the warning of “do not take while pregnant” simply because there is not enough (if any)  research to prove it’s not a risk to humans. Secondly, I learned that it was fairly difficult to get anyone to respond to my pleas for sharing, guidance and support. There had to be women out there with pain that went through a pregnancy. Or do women in pain just give up on that idea? No. In fact, there are many many women out there in the world of chronic pain that have had babies – healthy babies. However, I quickly found out why they don’t often jump up and offer their stories.

It amazes me how people are so quick to offer their “know it all” opinion about something that 1) they haven’t gone through themselves, and 2) don’t know anything about as it pertains to the individual.  I was shocked at the “free advice” and opinions I received, even within the chronic pain community. These people didn’t know my situation, my diagnosis, my medications, what my doctors were advising, etc. Yet they were not holding back with the judgment that I was “selfish” in even thinking about taking any medication while pregnant, or trying to carry a baby to term given my health. They didn’t know that I had spent a good year discussing and preparing with my team of doctors to get to the goal of conception. That I had spent months tapering off the meds that I couldn’t take while pregnant, lowering doses, trying new ones, etc. That I was, in my opinion, indeed being responsible and trying to ensure that my pain, and medications, would have as little impact on my baby as possible. I wonder if they had a clue that I was already so full of emotion and anger for having to be in this situation, that their words stung pretty bad. Or perhaps that was their intention. Either way, I was already quite angry at my pain for complicating my life, and what was supposed to be a very special time. This entire process was not easy, and I didn’t take it lightly. I was in desperate need of support, not criticism. These types of people I crossed paths with were hard to ignore.