Some Frustrating Question when Living with Chronic Pain

The very last thing I did before going to bed on Christmas Eve was to write to some very special people I have come to know at this site.  They really have changed my life with pain.  All of us suffer from pain all the time.  Some days are better than others and then there are those really bad days, but pain is a constant in our lives.  

Yet, here at this OFF Topic site, we often share a laugh as well as support each other when times are to awful to even talk about..  Being able to talk freely (without criticism) with people who understand how our failing bodies and pain has taken away our lives as we knew them, has lifted my spirits and given me hope.

I decided I would share my Christmas Eve thoughts with everyone in hopes that my general questions and thoughts might help someone else express their feelings to a loved one or simply know they are not alone.  Below is what I wrote:

"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT"

I am so very grateful for the friendship that has grown between us here at the GRIND. I no longer feel weighed down by loneliness and isolation because of pain.  I can discuss anything at all and share everything I want to with you guys without receiving criticism. That is such a wonderful gift........The best Christmas present I could receive.

Why is it that every one of us is able to be compassionate, empathetic, supportive, caring, forgiving and honest with each other? Why can't it be the same with the people in our lives that we care so much about?

Why is it that such wonderful people (you Grinders) have to suffer everyday?

Is there a greater purpose in our finding each other here at ChronicPainConnection.com and the Grind?

Is this a temporary friendship until we get well or give up in despair or will we be bound by our openness for most of our lives?

When will we find better help from our physicians and medical systems?

How can we get our loved ones, friends and co-workers to understand that they can't take the pain away for us, any more than we can make it go away?

How can we possibly live up to our family responsibilities now that our bodies don't work as they used to?

Are we simply burdens for our friends and family now?

Is it simply too much to ask someone to try to understand that continual pain eats away at our very souls, demoralizing and degrading us, yet we are whole in our minds?

How can we cope better when we see our children and spouses and siblings and parents and friends and co-workers NATURALLY pull away from us, because it is too hard for them to cope with our illnesses, conditions or needs?

I really don't know why I have written this tonight. I am feeling quite upbeat despite that I am alone tonight, Christmas Eve. It really is ok. I didn't mean to be such a downer with my questions. I guess these are questions that I know some of the answers but I keep thinking........... I must be doing something very wrong to have so many people want to keep their distance from me. So, I keep looking to find a way to change my behaviour or way of interacting with people..........but I don't have enough strength!!!!!